Common Mistakes That Can Spoil Your Odds Of Getting Him Back

October 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Dear Candice,

I really want my ex boyfriend back, that I often call his Mom, younger sister and bestfriend, to know his whereabouts or if he is going out with some girl friends. He was my very first boyfriend and happens to be the first guy that hurt me too. I’m aware that getting in touch with his friends might bug him, but this is the only way I know to see if there’s still a chance for us to get back together. I’m also planning to change how I look, like a total make over.  Can I still get him back? Shall i wait? I’m too scared to take more actions right now that might ruin my chance to get him back.  – Sally, 17 (Chicago, Illinois)

Dear Sally,

I can feel that you really want your ex boyfriend back. And to answer your question if you can do it? Yes you can! Many relationships go through rocky periods, including break ups, and emerge stronger and more stable afterwards. You can get your guy back and be part of that big group of post-break up success stories.

You said that you are scared, that is normal. Getting from here to there can be a somewhat tricky, especially for someone like you have fallen in love and got hurt for the first time. That’s because there are so many different traps into which you can fall. You are right, if you goof and make a major mistake, it might ruin your shot at getting him back in your life. There are actually more ways to ruin an attempt at a relationship revival than there are ways of pulling it off successfully. However, if you know what to look out for and do a good job of avoiding these mistakes, you’ll be in a much better position with respect to getting your man back. Let me tell you the most common mistakes that may sidetrack your efforts in getting your ex boyfriend back.

Putting too much faith in love. That sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it? After all, it’s your belief that your relationship is so meaningful that’s driving you to try to revive it. If you didn’t believe in love, you’d just move on without even trying. That’s true and a deep abiding belief in the power of true love is a great thing. But then again, we all know what they say about having too much of a good thing.

Let me put it this way, many people simply assume that things will work out on their own because a relationship is simply meant to be. That’s where the problem sets in and it is a critical mistake. Fate is so fickle and you can’t count on it to perform the right way without a little bit of direction and assistance. You need to take action. Don’t just wait and hope for the best. If you value your relationship, don’t let it slip, do something now to get your boyfrriend back.

Another mistake is to believe that superficial alterations will bring him crawling back. Sure, you might attract his attention with a shorter skirt, a low-cut blouse and a newly rebonded hair, but that’s not what will really bring him back. The surface changes, more often than not, connotes desperation, totally not attractive, and don’t serve to address underlying issues or real keys to making up.

If you feel like making a few changes, like changing your looks, for your own sake… so be it. But if your think that these adjustments will somehow make you more attractive to him, think again. Infact, totally forget about it! There are better ways to spend your time and more important things upon which to focus your efforts.

The tendency to believe that “all bets are off” when it comes to getting a guy back is also a big mistake. Some ladies suddenly throws away their ethics and morals out the window when in pursuit of an ex boyfriend. Even goes for tricky strategies and outright lies to get a guy back, believing that “anything goes”.

Sure, those tricky strategies may work in a short run, but they don’t really pay off. Rebuilding your relationship works a lot better when it is based on sound and honest foundation. You’ll be well on your way to re-kindle the flames of passion with your ex boyfriend, if you can avoid those mistakes. Stay principled and act in a way that you’ll always be proud of. That’s a much better way of getting your boyfriend back.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

Breaking Up Isn’t Necessarily Forever – Get Your Ex Back

October 28, 2008 | 1 Comment

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend for 2 years gave up on our relationship for some reasons that I can’t understand. I gave him the space that he needs and it’s been 3 months now. I really can’t understand how a person that you’ve loved so much for years can just dumped you just like that. I’m sad. And I want him back. I just don’t know if i can do it.  – Kristina, 25 (Los Angeles, CA)

Dear Kristina,

If you want to get your ex-boyfriend back, you certainly can do it. It’s fine to take a break from your relationship at one point. But it doesn’t need to be forever. It can be arduous to deal with your break up. But this break up can be temporary. In one way or another, dealing with the change in life circumstances is difficult. It is hard to deal with the disappointment and massive stew of emotions that inevitably tags along with parting ways situation.

Your break up is like a massive cloud, that looking for the silver lining can be really hard for you. When things are gray and dreary like this, everything looks a little ugly and it’s agitating to suddenly realize that a relationship you wanted to continue is now gone. Although these emotions are valid, it’s also completely unnecessary.

Yes what you are dealing right now is not necessary, you might doubt that proposition. You might be surrounded with people telling you that its just right to feel the hurt and there’s nothing you can do about that but to endure and accept. But I’m telling you right now that this is not the case. You might also feel as if you’re stuck in a new life that simply won’t involve your boyfriend anymore. Again, this is not the case. If you’re willing to consider it for a few moments, I can prove that break ups don’t need to be permanent.

Do me a favor, take a minute to reflect on the people you know who have successful relationships. Take an ample time to think of as many couples as you can. Now, go through that list. How many of those relationships experienced really turbulent times or significant difficulties at some point? How many of the people on your list broke up at one time or another, only to come back to one another later?

By doing this you’ll soon realize that almost every successful relationship had rough patches, and you are just like them. All of those people you know, who seem to have the most stable and wonderful romances, went through dreary and gray days. Just like what you’re going through right now. Those people that you know made a comeback. Their break ups weren’t permanent, they were only part of a process that has led to success. There’s certainly no reason whatsoever to think that you can’t have a similar success story in your life.

You said that you want your ex boyfriend back. If you do, you can make it happen. There are countless real-life examples that prove that point beyond any shadow of a doubt. There’s nothing so strange or outlandish about your situation that it somehow works under a different set of rules.

Break ups aren’t always permanent. In fact, you could go so far as to say that breaking up is basically optional. All it takes is one person, yes just one person, who wants to revive the relationship. If that person is willing to take appropriate action, absolutely saving the relationship is possible.

Now let me ask you once again? Do you really want your ex boyfriend back? If you do, it’s time to be the person who takes action. It’s time to find that silver lining, not matter how massive the cloud is, and to allow it to inspire you to do something. If you’re ready for that, it’s about time to get your man back.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

All You Need Is Love – And A Good Approach To Get Your Ex Back

October 26, 2008 | 4 Comments

Dear Candice,

I’ve had this relationship with this guy for about a month. He was so cool and we talked about almost everything. We had so much fun together, but then he dumped me. We still talk sometimes. But i still really like him he is like the most amazing guy i know. But he really hurt me. I’ve tried to move on but haven’t had much luck getting over him. I really want to bring the old times back and even more get him back into my life. How can i take him back? All i need is to show him my love, right? I hope. – Hannah, 18 (Tucson, AZ)

Dear Hannah,

You said, all you need is love. Such a nice sentiment and it might be a relatively accurate descriptor of what we really need to make the world a better and sound place. However, for you to get your ex back… love isn’t the only thing you’ll need. To get your ex back, all you need is love… and a good approach.

There are a lot of hopeless romantics out there, I’m not saying you are one of them… i just want to draw on some point. They believe that love always find a way. They really have a faith in the power of love to conquer all. They think that if a relationship is worthy of participation it will naturally rebound after a break up.

Very optimistic, right? That kind of optimism in the power of the heart is amazing. Anyhow, it’s also sort of silly. I totally agree that love can find a way, but someone has to give it a map. I also believe that love might be able to conquer all, but it needs a little help along the way. If you really want your ex boyfriend back and are currently just hoping that things will work out for the best, it’s time to reconsider your view.

It seems that you know what you want to do with your relationship. You are on the right track Hannah. It is true that if you know in your heart that the you and your ex boyfriend should take a second chance with one another, you have an obligation to take action. If you believe in the relationship, you really can’t leave it all up to fate or chance. Love is too worthy that it is not enough to just hope for the things to get better. You have the power to actually revive the relationship.

All you need is love and a good approach. Love is an indispensable ingredient to getting your ex back in your life. A good approach will help you go along with it. You need a good plan that you really can implement. No doubt that you already have the willingness to act to all of that positive thinking and concept in love. But once you add a plan, you’ll create an unstoppable force. A force that surely won’t rest until you get your man back.

Not all people think like you Hannah. Some people may be reluctant to this idea, because of fear and insecurity. Going back to your story… don’t be hopeful, be certain instead. Certain on the things that you want to happen to your relationship. There’s no room for singing “que sera, sera”… have the courage to stand up for something in which you really believe. If you believe in your relationship, take action and get him back as soon as you possibly can.

Put yourself in front of smart guide that will provide you with a blueprint to rebuilding your relationship and then take action. That’s the best way to honor love and it’s the best way to get your ex boyfriend back, too. If you want to get your ex back, don’t be a wishful thinker. Be equipped with all the love… and a good approach.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

A Different Approach Of Dealing With A Break Up

October 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Dear Candice,

It’s been almost two weeks since I last heard of Tom, my ex-boyfriend. He broke up with me after that petty fight a couple of weeks ago. I spent those two weeks crying. But until now, I couldn’t sleep, eat, and perhaps even think right. I can’t stop thinking about him and hoping that the next time my phone rings, he’ll be on the other line. I don’t know what to do Candice. My relationship with Tom was one of the best things that has happened to me. Cyndi, a friend of mine, told me to let go and get my life back. But how can I do that? I can’t even picture my life without Tom around. – Sabrina, 24 (Brisbane, CA)

Dear Sabrina,

I honestly feel for you. Those emotions are normal if you’ve recently ended your relationship with your boyfriend and currently tormented by the break up. Perhaps you’re getting a lot of advice from an assortment of friends – like Cyndi, and from your loved ones and family members as well. More often than not, they want you to feel better and they’re trying to do that by expressing sympathy to comfort you.

Cyndi told you to let go, others probably have told you that break up happens to everyone, it happens for a reason, and the break up was meant to be. Or they will tell you to not worry. Just cry it out. The feeling will pass. Things will get easier… completely ignoring the fact that your heart is telling you that your relationship with Tom should continue.

It is okay to cry and to listen to those consoling phrases, however, the best thing to do is to assess your feelings and be certain on things that you want to happen. Here’s a different advice for you to consider… an idea that comes at the problem from a different perspective.

Stop mourning about the break up. Not by growing a thicker skin or by moving on… or even by accepting that the break up has happened, but by taking action and getting your ex boyfriend back.

Your friend might not lead you to this direction, but it is a viable alternative. If you feel like you and Tom deserve a second chance at love and you believe that the relationship is definitely worth saving, you don’t need to wait to feel better or to accept your fate lying down. You can take action and bring your Tom back into your life.

What it takes to get your ex back? A willingness to act, a little determination, and a good plan… that’s what it takes. You probably have the first two items, all you need now is a plan… yes, a good one! If you can assemble those ingredients, you can cook up a great strategy to bring your man back.

Couples break up and then they make up… this really happens and this could happen to you. There’s no reason to think that your situation can’t work out that way, too. You said that your relationship with your boyfriend was one of the best things that has happened to you… and if it surely is a best thing, you deserve to get it back. Listen to your heart instead of the cliched advice of others. You can do what it takes to get your man back.

If you really want to get your ex back, you definitely can do it. Get yourself together, take a deep breath, stand up, and dust yourself off. Now, go put your hands on a smart and proven guide that will show you a blueprint for getting your boyfriend back. Put it into place and move forward. Before you know it, you will have rebuilt your winning relationship.

Remember, you are a good person and you deserve good things. If your broken relationship was such a good thing… you definitely deserve to get it back!

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship