Don’t Let Your Insecurities Stop You To Get Him Back
November 12, 2008 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
I still love my ex boyfriend, and I definitely want him back. But what if he says “no”? What if I’m embarrassed or humiliated? What if I’m forced to admit to my own mistakes? What if he’s not interested at all? These questions are bugging me. If only I have the courage to do this. Please help. – Sam (Oneonta, NY)
Dear Sam,
You’re right Sam, if only one of you have stepped forward to take action, your relationship could have been saved and nurtured. This is one very unfortunate fact… many potentially great relationships that could have flourished die in break ups over such relatively trivial matters. There are people who chose to not take action when things get a little bit rough even though they know that their relationship is great and worth saving. And there are so many completely unnecessary break ups allowed to crush just like that.
This could be one of those life-changing moments. This could be the time and place for you to stand up for what you know is right and to take a stand in favor of what might be the most important thing in the world—love. You can’t allow your own insecurities to stop you from getting your ex boyfriend back. Many people have failed to re-start their relationships because of their inability to overcome their own insecurities. Don’t be like them, don’t let your insecurities hold you back.
It’s fathomable that you might be reluctant to take action. Taking steps to get someone back in your life inevitably involves exposing your own vulnerabilities.Taking action can also place you at some risk of having your most tender tendencies poked and prodded. However, being proactive is going to force you to “put yourself out there”.
What if he says “no”? What if I’m embarrassed or humiliated? What if I’m forced to admit to my own mistakes?… You kept on asking “what if” questions, these questions won’t help you get through your situation at all, these questions only shows your insecurities. Yes, there are so many different potentially awkward and painful possibilities. Many women can be turned off from the idea of taking action to get a boyfriend back because they have self-confidence and self-esteem issues. They worry if they’re smart enough, pretty enough, interesting enough or otherwise “good enough” to justify happiness and a wonderful romance. Of course, they are, but by just saying that doesn’t make all of those insecurities disappear. No matter how many times your friends and I tell you how pretty you are, won’t keep you thinking of those painful possibilities.
Still, you can’t let those fears stand in your way of making a move to get him back. If you know the two of you deserve a second chance you owe it to yourself, to him and to your heart to do what you can to have a rebound relationship.
You can stop your insecurities from getting in the way by trying to focus on the positive future that awaits you after you get your ex boyfriend back. You can also take action based on a solid plan that all but guarantees a positive result. If only you have a good approach and are doing the things that really work, it can make you feel more secure in the situation and more confident about your actions.
You are good enough and you absolutely do deserve to get a second chance to make things work with your ex boyfriend. Don’t let anything stand in your way. Because in the end, the important thing is to take action regardless of your insecurities.
A Serious Action Is Needed To Get Your Ex Back
November 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
Me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago, he broke up with me . I miss him a lot and I want him back. I’ve been trying to befriend him but it didn’t work. I also tried getting him back but it just pushed him farther away from me. At this point I think that I can’t do anything but to hope that things will get better in time. I’m really positive about it. I know love will find a way, I just don’t know when? – Jen, your old friend (from South Carolina)
Dear Jen,
Glad to hear from you. This might sound harsh, but it’s the hard, cold fact of the matter. Do not spend your time worrying and mourning your break up and wish for happier days to come back. Waiting for him to have a change of heart is definitely not the key to get him back into your life. If you want him back, you need to get busy and start following a smart plan designed to to make it happen as soon as you possibly can. Get yourself together and take action. If you get started taking action now, your odds of success will be considerably higher.
If you want to get your ex boyfriend back, taking action is absolutely essential. However, one thing is certain… taking action to rebuild a relationship can be really hard, especially during the emotionally raw days after a break up. But, if you know deep in your heart that you want him back, you have the responsibility to make it happen.
Yes, there is some remote possibility that things will work out on their own. That undoubtedly happens on some rare occasions. It’s even possible that he might alter his perspective after time passes and will then try to re-initiate your relationship. You must consider, however, what will happen if luck isn’t on your side. Where will that leave you? It certainly won’t be back in his arms.
You’ve mentioned, “love will find a way”. This may be true but the catch is… love will need your help to reach its final destination. Positive thinking, faith, hope and being wishful in your sentiments are all fine. They’re all good things. And definitely a forward-thinking attitude will help you get through the situation. But all these good attitude alone, won’t get you even close towards winning your ex back.
You said that you are unhappy about the break up. Now, take your time and aswer these questions. What have you done to reverse the breakup? What have you done to get him back so far? If your answer is “not that much” or “nothing at all”, it’s time to change your perspective and direction. It’s time to take serious action to get your ex boyfriend back. Definitely, it’s time to talk the talk and walk the walk.
There are a lot of people out there who have figured out a way to make relationships work and successfuly revived a seemingly hopeless relationship. You should sink your teeth into that valuable information and use it to help you move forward, actively, in your pursuit of your ex boyfriend. This only means that when you start to put your hands on a solid plan that will guide you through the process, you certainly can get your ex back in your life after a break up.
Always keep this in mind. You need to take serious, smart and coordinated action to get your ex back. That’s the only way to maximize your chances in rebuilding your relationship with your ex. If your heart is already screaming at you to go get your ex back. It’s about time to listen.
If You Know That It’s The Right Thing To Do – Get Him Back
November 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I want my ex back but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I feel that there’s a lot more to this situation. Can I still push on getting him back even in doubt? Please help. Need your thoughts to enlighten me. Thanks Candice. – Carrie (Oakland, CA)
Dear Carrie,
We often times see couples who are stuck in weird relationships that are clearly destructive. Those couples who obviously have a relationship that’s doomed and hopeless, guaranteed to leave them both unhappy after wasting so much time and energy. These are the couples who should split up, as we would all say.
On the other hand, there are other couples who should stay together even though they experience rough times. The couples who know in their hearts that the two of them fit together nicely and realize that something special is always there. Those are the couples who have radically good relationships and you can sense the spark between them. They love one another. Still, something happens and they break up.
So let me ask you this Carrie, which group do you belong? If you’re in the first group, I hope you get out of that mess as soon as you possibly can! If, however, you’re in the second group, getting him back is my advice. You don’t have to acquiesce with this break up. You don’t need to say “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” and move on. If you know that it’s the right thing to do. That’s right. Get him back.
Now Carrie, let me ask you more questions. Can you imagine living without your ex boyfriend? Do you think that the two of you do not belong together? Is your heart telling you that the relationship is better off that way? Do you not feel the love? Look into your heart for a moment. If “No” is your answer to all of the questions, then it’s time to get him back.
Believe it or not, break ups are optional. You can get over it. Many women, including myself, have been in situations like yours. Instead of deciding to just accept an unwanted break up, we decided to take a stand for our love. We decided to get back together with our exes. Thousands and thousands of couples have emerged from break ups to build wonderfully strong and fulfilling relationships.
Let’s entertain the alternative for a moment. What might happen if you decide to surrender in the face of this challenge. You won’t see him again. You won’t spend another evening together, share another story, swap another kiss or enjoy another hug. Obviously, this isn’t what you want. You don’t want to give up on love and you don’t want to turn a deaf ear to your heart’s lament. If you make this decision, it will haunt you.
Don’t ever think to surrender. If you try to get your man back and fail, you can at least take solace in the fact that you tried. If you’ve made efforts to get back together and it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know you gave it a chance to flourish.
If you are certain that you want to preserve the relationship, get him back. Listen to your heart, instead of just accepting the break up if you really don’t want to. If you know deep down inside that taking a second chance on your relationship is the right thing to do… no one’s stopping you to get your ex boyfriend back.
Don’t Let A Break Up Break Your Heart -Think Straight And Get Your Ex Back
November 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I broke up with my boyfriend about three weeks ago. He was begging me to come back to him right after the breakup but I refused to. Now it’s been three days and I haven’t heard from him. I tried to call him to say that I already realized that I want him back too. But he’s not answering my calls. I also went to his house but I wasn’t able to find him there. I want him back but it seems hopeless now. I never thought that wanting to get him back is this tough. I often think that probably the break up was meant and if he still loves me he will find me. But I don’t like this feeling, I want him back. What else can I do? – Wishful Thinker, 18 (Palm Bay, Florida)
Dear Wishful Thinker,
Yes, it’s true that if you want your ex back, things are tough. But whatever you do, don’t let this break up break your heart. No, this isn’t another attempt to lift your spirits by telling you that you’ll get over it or that there are many fish in the sea. Because I’m sure you’ve heard already too much of that. What I’m telling you is a different positive message. I’m here to tell you that you can actually get your boyfriend back if that’s what you want to do.
You can get him back, no matter how hopeless you think your case is, if you have a good approach you can certainly get your ex boyfriend back in no time. In fact, break ups are completely optional.You can rebuild your relationshipif you know in your heart that the two of you deserve a second chance at true love.
Many long-lasting partnerships navigated the choppy waters of a break up somewhere along the line, this happens everyday. In fact, there are a lot of people who break up and get back together. And you can be part of that group. I know, from my own experience and through observation and empirical evidence, that almost every strong and stable relationship experienced rough times at some point. And you are just like us, there’s no reason at all why you can’t you have your relationship back, too. Your breakup is just another story and you can have a happy ending, if you really want to. Getting your man back into your life is definitely the end result of your concentrated effort. However, there’s some real effort that has to occur between now and then.
It’s alright to believe that love will find it’s own way, but you must be aware of the fact that it requires a helpful hand. It needs a map to find you. In fact, you may need to go find it within yourself to take action to have a rebound relationship. I’ve been through your situation, I wasted so much time waiting, thinking and hoping that our love will find it’s way. You won’t get your man back with wishful thinking.
Again, that’s only part of the story. If you really want your ex boyfriend back, you need to take action. However, you need more than action, what you need is the right action. If you just take a blind stab at getting him back based on your hunch, you probably aren’t going to succeed. You need a solid plan based on ethical core principles that can help you get through every step as you travel from breaking up to making up.
Don’t wait and let the emotional bruising fade away. And instead of putting it all behind you, just because “that’s what people usually do”, you can be part of the exceptions to the rule who decide to take a stand for your love and to find a way to get your ex boyfriend back. Think straight to find a smart approach and combine it with an absolute will to take action, through that you can get your boyfriend back.
You don’t need to go out looking for some other fish in the sea. If you do want your ex back, make it happen. Once again, break ups are optional. And you can shift from your current hardship to a long-lasting relationship with your boyfriend, if you approach the problem with the right mindset and information. Always remember, in order to get your man back, you need to be equipped with two things – a willingness to take act and a good approach.
If You Want To Get Your Ex Back, Does It Matter If He Wants You Back?
November 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I think I really pushed my boyfriend away with my jealousy. I broke up with him because I was jealous on his good relations with his friends at work. It’s been 2 months now and I really want to get him back. But what if he doesn’t want to anymore? Does it matter if my ex wants me back too? - Rachel (Bloomington, Indiana)
Dear Rachel,
Yes, it does matter if your ex boyfriend wants you back. But that doesn’t mean that you will put down your own chances just because he has no plans of getting you back. Whether your ex wants you back or not, you can still get him back. The answer hinges on your willingness to put forth an exceptional effort in the face of difficult odds and in your own personal sense of ethics and morality.
The answer is actually a little more complicated than what you might think. Here’s what I mean. You can get your boyfriend back whether he really has thoughts about reuniting or not. This happens very often. A guy who’s completely sure that he wants out of a relationship for good is persuaded to give it another shot. In some sense, it doesn’t matter if he’s excited about getting back together again or not. If you want him back… you certainly can, but you need to use the right plan – that’s what matters.
Before you come up to a right plan, you should consider these factors to effectively get your ex boyfriend back.
Put forth an exception effort. The less interested your ex boyfriend is in rebuilding the relationship, the more difficult it will be to get him back. Thus, on some level, his interest does matter. If your ex boyfriend is dead set against ever laying eyes on you again, you need to put forth an almost Herculean effort to rekindle your relationship. Keep this in mind, getting him back would be more difficult in this case, but absolutely not impossible.
Stop and check your motivations. You should stop to check your own motivations, if your ex boyfriend is bound and determined against getting together again. Efforts to re-initiate a relationship when one partner is dead set against it are, in most cases, motivated more by things like jealousy or to prove a point rather than nurturing true love. Now, if you are going after your ex just to prove something to him, for the sake of revenge or because you feel jealous… take a pause check your motivations.
Smart tactics and persuasive strategies will not work. Consider the ethics of getting your ex boyfriend back if he really doesn’t want to give the relationship a second chance. You might want to think about what he really wants and how your efforts fit into the picture, because using smart tactics and persuasive strategies might complicates the situation and totally ruin your chance to get your ex back.
Being sensitive on how your ex boyfriend feels about rebuilding your relationship is important. It will definitely make your work at re-starting the relationship easier if he’s an active participant! It also matters in terms of your own individual sense of responsibility. But it all boils down to one thing, whether your ex boyfriend is excited at the prospect of rebuilding your relationship again or not,you can get your ex boyfriend back. You certainly can go from breaking up to making up.
Candice Garcia’s and Curtis Daniel’s Blog
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