Reasons Why You Don’t Need To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Wants You Back
December 8, 2008 | 2 Comments
Looking for strategies and techniques that can actually persuade any man to revive the relationship can be very tough. Women who want to know how to get an ex boyfriend back are out there looking for advice to make it happen and how to overcome a break up.
However, most of them continuously fail to do the very first action that should be done before getting an ex back. And that action would be, asking themselves ‘if’ and ‘why’ they want their boyfriends back. This is definitely a key aspect to the best plans for re-igniting the flames of passion with your ex. The answer to the question can tell you a great deal about whether or not pursuing the relationship will really be of value to you.
First of all, I would like to thank Andrea for sending the letter that was posted here last week. She asked the question that almost no one ever asks. “How can you tell if your ex boyfriend wants you back?”
There are reasons why this isn’t a common topic of discussion in the wake of a break up and most importantly, why this shouldn’t be asked in the first place.
You and your ex boyfriend had a relationship, no matter what happens to your relationship, he still has feelings for you. That slight opening and a good plan is all it often takes to get a couple back together again. Many women don’t ask the question because they don’t need to know the answer in order to get a guy back.
It’s really impossible to know with absolutely certainty what he is feeling or why. Asking what he wants out of your relationship is such a hard question. Getting an accurate assessment of how he feels can be really difficult.
The importance of knowing what your ex is thinking sets in when you are already on the move and making efforts to get him back. If you know how he feels and what he is thinking, you will have a much better idea about how to get him back. You’ll be able to make more informed judgments.
Now, if in case you really want to know how your ex feels about reviving the relationship, the only way is to simply ask. Talk to him as a person and just ask. We may not spend that much time thinking about whether your boyfriend actually wants you back, but it is a question that’s worth asking. If you know how to properly interact with men and want to get to the bottom of how your ex feels about you, the very best solution at your disposal is your ability to ask a few questions. You want to have every possible tool at your expense in order to get back together. Having some firsthand knowledge of his situation may be just what you need.
But then again, knowing the answer is not really important. This won’t be the reason at all to keep you from getting your ex back . If you really are determined to get him back, it’s imperative to have a good plan. Your determination if mix with a good plan, is enough to get your ex boyfriend back.
Does Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back? How Can You Tell?
December 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I’m not pleased with my recent break up with my ex and I’m totally convinced right not that the two of us should give it another chance. But I don’t want to do it without knowing his take on this. How can I tell if he wants me back? Andrea
Dear Andrea,
There are actually three different answers to your question. Believe it or not, all of them are true at the same time.
You can’t be sure of what your ex boyfriend’s intentions are. There are some ways that we can read people pretty well and if he’s doing some really obvious things to show his interests, you might be able to figure it out. However, in most cases, there’s no definite way to know whether he would buy the idea of taking a second chance on your relationship or not. Here’s the bottom-line… Does your ex want you back? You can’t tell. Unless, of course, he’s come right out and said that he wants you. And if he did, why are you still reading this post?
Here’s definitely a head-spinner one! On some level it just doesn’t matter whether he wants you back right now or not. The only thing that matters the most here is your desire to get your ex back and to rebuild your relationship. The truth is… his current attitude won’t really affect you odds to get him back. If your heart is telling you to make things work and if you’re completely committed to getting back together, it’s your obligation to take action. Start planning for a smart action to get him on the side of a second chance. So, does your ex want me back? It really doesn’t matter.
Your ex boyfriend may or may not be interested right now, but then again, it really doesn’t matter. That’s due, in an enormous measure, to the fact that you can take actions specifically designed to help you get your ex back. If you’re using a smart strategy, you can do what it takes to make him want you back in his life. Does your ex want you back? He will.
Cease from waiting and waiting to try to start your relationship again because you’ve been wondering about how he feels. This is a great time to stop worrying about his current attitude. Instead, focus on the fact that he eventually will want you back.
There’s no better time than now to start the ball rolling toward getting him back. So, stop the worrying and commit yourself to taking action as soon as possible. You can get your ex boyfriend back if you want him. How he happens to be seeing things right at this moment is really all that important in the final analysis. Every second counts. Get up, make up your mind and get your ex back.
Understanding Men Is Necessary To Get Your Boyfriend Back
December 4, 2008 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
Me and my boyfriend broke up and now I want to revive the relationship. The problem is, just like other people here, I just don’t know what to do. And what’s more complicating is that I don’t think we speak the same language. We have so many differences, what if the idea of reviving our relationship is one of them? – Mitch (Scottsdale, Arizona)
Dear Mitch,
You and your boyfriend do not speak the same language? Here’s my take — Literally? Definitely, not correct. You and your boyfriend can communicate with each other right? — Figuratively? Still, not correct! Believing on it, can be really frustrating. How can you possibly connect with him if it seems that you are living in two different world?
When I was in pursuit of my ex, I’ve sought advice from famous relationship gurus. According to one guru, men are from the planet Mars. And another one claims the one you’ve mentioned here, that men and women just don’t speak the same languages. There’s a school of thought that argues that the male and female minds are hardwired differently — that we’re basically different species.
So, how are you supposed to get your ex boyfriend back when you can’t even begin to understand him? Seems like a long shot to me. How are you supposed to forge a partnership with some crazy creature from another world? Yikes! It just isn’t a very promising situation in which to be.
Bridging a gap like that is not an easy way, right? Wrong! The answer is actually quite easy. Talk to him like a person. Simply because he is a person too. All that talk of different species and aliens from outer space is complete and utter nonsense. I’ve proven that men, despite being weird occasionally, are definitely human beings.
You see, they aren’t that different compared to us. We often mistakingly assume that we are not alike — And that’s where the problem sets in. Men want the same things we do. In fact, if you were to go down a list of important things with your ex boyfriend you’d probably find that most of both lists were identical.
That, however, doesn’t mean that there aren’t slight differences. There are. These are more a matter of prioritizing goals and longings and far less about being radically different from one another.
Your ex boyfriend is probably from your hometown, your state, your country, and he is definitely from your world — the same world women hail from, by the way. They can definitely communicate with you if you make the effort to communicate with them. So, men aren’t from Mars.
I was once failed to get back together with my ex, because I declined to believe that we are just the same. Thought of so many unrealistic male stereotypes. This patronizing approach certainly isn’t attractive and it generally fails to produce a real connection.
So, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back, you will need to understand those slight differences that separate you from him. More importantly, though, you’ll need to remain cognizant of the fact that your ex boyfriend is a full-fledged human being, just like you. You’ll be much, much closer to getting your boyfriend back once you accept that fact.
Get Your Boyfriend Back, But Then Again, The Past Does Matter
December 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Here’s another post that further speaks about how your past can possibly affect the odds of getting your boyfriend back. Does the past really matter? If so, when?
Does an ugly break up make it more difficult to get back with your ex? Does the situation that led to the break up still matter? Can you get your man back no matter what drove the two of you apart? These are interesting questions and they do need some attention.
When you are in pursuit of your ex boyfriend after a break up, you might be wondering how much the nature of your past and the characteristics of the break up itself matter. Well, from my own experience, the past can really have an impact on how easy it is to get your boyfriend back. But rarely the case, that ‘the past’ will be a determining factor in your efforts to get him back. Let me put it this way, the past has an impact on us, but it doesn’t control our future.
That only means that you should be able to get your boyfriend back no matter what caused the split up. That should be good news to you. However, just like any rules… there are a few exceptions. The exceptions to this general rule of thumb are also rare. Unless you did something almost unimaginably horrible to break the relationship, it shouldn’t be an issue.
So, assuming you didn’t chop off one of his arms, kill his dog, and beat up his mother while filling the Internet with hateful lies about him, you can probably get him back! Hey, we’ve all seen couples come back to one another even after some pretty shocking misbehavior. The bar for doing something completely unforgivable is set very, very high.
Yes, the past does matter, but when? The past will have an impact on how difficult the process is. If he still feels emotionally wounded or as if he can’t reasonably put any trust in you anymore, it will be somewhat difficult get him back and rebuild the relationship. You’ll need to work with smaller steps, slowly… but surely rebuilding your romance.
Here’s a good way to manage the impact of the past on your future — Deal with it directly. Discuss with your ex about what happened in honest and open terms and clear the slate on the topic. This can be done by bringing out what you fee into the light, without holding back. You can decrease its power to secretly influence his responses to your attempts to get back together.
If you want to get him back, do yourself a favor… just do so. Be equipped with a complete combination of that attitude, your action and a good plan. You’ll be able to bring him back into your life and you can make him part of your future, regardless of the past.
One more important thing — Keep in mind that you don’t have to give up on the idea of making a comeback just because something unsavory went down before the break up. You can recover from your past to build a great future with your ex.
Three Important Rules To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
December 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I wan’t my boyfriend back and definitely will do anything to make it happen. What are the things that I should not do, so he won’t flip out on me? – Marge
Dear Marge,
There shouldn’t be a no-holds-barred affair if you are trying to rebuild your relationship. Yes, when making your decision, there are certain limits to consider. This is, in part, necessary to increase your odds of actually getting your ex boyfriend back.
If you feel that your relationship deserves a second chance, and now want to do everything in your power to get your ex boyfriend back, there are a few rules you should set for yourself prior to taking action. Just as importantly, though, following “rules” like these can insure that you’ll emerge from the project as a whole. You must be a fulfilled person who doesn’t feel as though that you somehow compromised your personal integrity.
The rule number one is to not let your fear govern your actions. More often than not, potentially awesome relationships die an ugly death, simply because both parties to the relationship were too afraid to take necessary action to reunite. They end up breaking up. Surely, there are fears of rejection that can get in the way. And some people are afraid to be vulnerable or to expose their heartfelt emotions. You definitely won’t get your ex back if you let your fears and worries get into you. Further, letting your fears control you may put you in a situation of great regret later.
The rule number two is to not change yourself for the sake of getting him back. As I’ve mentioned on my previous posts here, changing your physical appearance can do nothing, but connotes desperation. It is hard to resist allure of undergoing personal change in an effort to recapture a lost romance. if you think that there’s something about you encouraged the break up, changing that something should cure it… think again. This is definitely not the case. Because in reality, break ups rarely stem from just one thing and making superficial or artificial changes usually isn’t persuasive to the ex boyfriend, who is capable of seeing right through your actions. Further, making these changes will leave you feeling somewhat shallow and compromised. There is really no need for you to sell yourself out, to get your man back.
The rule number three is to retain your honesty. Faking, scheming, and telling farfetched lies just don’t work. If you really want to successfully get him back, you probably want to stay with him afterwards, right? The quickest way to get a boyfriend back and then lose him again is to revive the relationship based on lies or schemes. In most cases, deception doesn’t work. When luckily it does, it is usually a temporary fix that will later backfire. This is not the time to play “tricks” on him. Trying to get your boyfriend back with dishonest behavior offers additional blow back. It compromises your personal integrity and produces a great deal of potential shame and guilt. If your current plan involves stretching the truth, reconsider.
Following these three basic rules will get your ex boyfriend back. These rules will not just maximize your chances for success but also protect you from making critical errors on a personal level.
Candice Garcia’s and Curtis Daniel’s Blog
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