Keep It Cool While You Are In The Process Of Getting Your Ex Back

February 25, 2009 | 1 Comment

Getting your ex back is certainly not as easy as 1-2-3. As per my experience, you must have these three things to successfully get your boyfriend back: determination, willingness to act and a good approach. I did not get him back in a short period of time. In fact, while I was in the process of getting him back there were idle moments. Moments in between the point of actual breakup and the point of finally getting back together.

While you are in the process of getting your ex back, you may see your ex somewhat indifferent. Although you have this feeling that the situation is passive, it is important to play it simple and keep it cool. Keeping the situation cool will definitely not ruin your chance… in fact, more often than not, it increases your chances to get your ex back.

No break up is pleasant, so is waiting for your ex to return your call after asking him to give your relationship another chance. However, the manner on how you deal with the situation will have significant impact on your attitude and outlook on relationships, romantic or not. Of course, you can always cry your eyes out during those times, but a far better option is to vow to yourself to be a cool ex whenever you see him again. Here are some “post-breakup while getting your ex back” scenarios and how to keep it cool.

Your ex with another girl. A common friend has invited you both to a party. It’s been two months since he broke it off with you and a week after your email asking him for a possibility of getting back together. Suddenly you saw him with a lady you don’t recognize. To keep it cool, do not play games and try to make him jealous. Instead, hold your head high, walk over to them, introduce yourself and wish them well.

Mom is in touch with your ex still. When you two were together, you enjoyed a close relationship with your family. However, when you broke up, your mom is still in touch your ex, talking to him over the phone and having him around during special occasions. This scenario is actually an advantage for you, but if you act on it in an uncool way, you can ruin your chance to get your ex back. If you are hurting because your ex won’t return your call but he often speaks with your mom, talk to your mom and tell her what you feel. She might be able to help you convince your ex for a rebound relationship.

You are chilling at the park with Bruce, the dog your ex bought for you. Then suddenly, you see your ex walking toward you. To keep it cool, be polite and make a small talk. Limit your talk about Bruce, and how your ex has been doing. Do not try to ignite unnecessary conflict by trying to change agreement over pet custody.

You definitely do not have control on how your ex would deal with a “post-breakup while getting your ex back” scenario, but you can try to deal with it with your integrity in tact. It’s not an enjoyable situation but it is such a learning experience or an opportunity for you to grow, if you’ll think this way you’ll absolutely feel better. Be graceful when handling the process of getting your ex back.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

Why Consider Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

February 23, 2009 | 2 Comments

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend for almost a year recently ended our relationship. I tried to save the relationship, but he keeps on telling me that he has to sort things out first. Shall I still consider getting him back? — Veronica

Dear Veronica,

Your relationship came to a screeching halt. You had a nice thing going on but your relationship finally came to a painful and frustrating situation – break up. Sure, you’ll find the situation sort of ugly. The more you want to save the relationship the harder it gets to keep. You’ve been trying to hold a wagon to stay one piece but the wheels keep falling of it. It can be the very rocky times of your life now that it’s over and you can’t believe that you spent all that time and emotion only to lose it in the end.

So, why do you want your ex boyfriend back? Wouldn’t it be easier to just consider this chapter of your life closed and to move on to some proverbial greener pasture? What could conceivably motivate you after all of the agony and hurt to even make getting your ex boyfriend back as an option??

You might say: Yikes! Some of you would say: No way! When we put it in those terms, the thought of getting your ex back doesn’t sound that attractive, does it? Good thing there’s a bigger perspective on your relationship that can conjure up positive images that easily overshadow any potential problems you may be experiencing related to the break up. A different approach to look at things. , More often than not, this alternative perspective gives you all the reason why you should consider getting your ex boyfriend back.

Now, let me tell you some of the positive alternative perspectives:

Love is just too valuable to ignore. You owe it to yourself to go after your ex if you think the love of your life is walking away. We like to pose as though old-school romanticism is something of a thing from the past, however, we know that real love does exist and that it’s very special. You simply can’t just missed out on a great chance of love. If your heart is yelling at you, it won’t be fair to ignore it for. It does make sense to get your ex back if it can drown out the tears and screams of anguish.

Creating even more meaningful relationship is possible. If you feel like the break up was a bad idea and that there’s a lot of potential left in the idea of the two of you being together, it’s possible to look past the ugliness of a break up. Focus on the potential advantages of getting him back in your life instead.

Optimism is better than dwelling. If there’s something special in your relationship, in one way or another, it will maneuver its own way to get into you no matter how hard you try to ignore it. Keep in mind that things don’t get better if no one took the time to deal with it. If you feel that things can get better and that you can make the relationship work, that optimism can be much more interesting than dwelling on the past and its less beautiful moments.

You get to make a choice. Would you rather deal with regret and suffering or would you prefer to get your ex boyfriend back? That decision is yours to make. A classic “the glass is half empty/half full” situation, indeed. There’s a lot of pain to go around these days, but there is even more potential for something meaningful to happen.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship