How Do Men Characterize Beautiful Women? Truth Revealed!
April 6, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I’ve been in the modeling industry for four years. Having the opportunity to work as a model has also allowed to meet a lot of people. I’ve dated some cool dudes but haven’t really had any serious relationship. It seems that honest, sincere, and loyal man, in this industry, is hard to come by. Modesty aside, I got good looks. If good looks is so important for men, how they don’t take me seriously? How do men characterize beautiful women? – Margery
Dear Margery,
What makes you beautiful is actually more than your appearance, size and shape. Your personality is your true source of beauty. As Sir Francis Bacon would say: “The best part of beauty is that which no picture can express.”
Most men look for something more than meets the eye. They often call it, the “inner beauty”, a personality that can touch human soul with laughter, intelligence, mannerisms and confidence. However, it’s also true that humans are basically visual creatures and prefer those who are aesthetically pleasing to the eye. That’s why sometimes, it takes time before someone can actually see the inner beauty in you.
I’m sure you’ve already heard about a new type of reality TV show, airing now. The topic? Beautiful women. There’s a twist though. Evidently, the participants are given to understand that the bottom line is who is physically superior. The previews, promoting the show, have snippets of interviews with these beautiful women, stating their own views of their relative beauty on a scale of 1 to 10. The real agenda of the show is to determine which of these beautiful women has true beauty which is more than skin deep.
Here’s a comment from one of the contenders: “Just look at me. Yes, I look in the mirror constantly and I like what I see. Wouldn’t you agree?” In the majority, the women appear to be highly narcissistic and shallow to boot, stating that they are surely a 20, on the 1-10 scale.
So, what really makes beautiful women beautiful to the ordinary man? Bleached hair and overdone makeup doesn’t seem to impress a regular guy as constituting the woman of his dreams. He’s looking for other qualities that are more than skin deep. As far as the visual appeal, men really want a girl with a bit more refinement. The celebrity look only goes so far and doesn’t last long. Men tend to associate the overdone celebrity with a personality that doesn’t stand the test of time.
Sure, men enjoy a woman’s physical appearance as much as the next guy. However, nothing matters but personality, when they’re looking for a serious relationship. Men do appreciate women of a generous, joyful and gentle spirit. In the eyes of most men, beautiful women are possessed of all of these qualities, a.k.a “inner beauty”. Men are perhaps more astute in their assessment of beautiful women than women might think!
We can only wait to see how these reality show contestants fare. What’s pretty difficult to figure is how they’ve been duped into thinking it’s all about looks. Are they truly so conceited, or is it all a hype? Either way, it would be fun to root for a truly beautiful woman, who didn’t rate herself a ’20′ on a scale of 1-10.
When it comes to real life… beauty is really in the eyes of the beholder. Different people have different ideas about what is aesthetically pleasing to the eye. So, let me end this one with another quote by Sophia Loren: “Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” This implies that feeling good about yourself is the connection between beauty and self-image. The more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more beautiful you are and you can actually be.
Get The Right Balance Between Your Natural Beauty And Makeup Products
April 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
My mom won’t let me wear anything but cover up and lip gloss. I didn’t bother at first, but now all of my friends are wearing it. I just want a little mascara and eyeshadow though, and maybe eyeliner too. By the way, I’m 13 years old and in junior high. Why am I being restricted? — Sharron
Dear Sharron,
That’s exactly how it was for me when I was 13. Only cover up and lip gloss. I exactly know how you feel but coming from experience, if you start wearing too much at this age people might get the wrong idea. You wonder why you’ve got to be restricted. In the first place, it’s unlikely, if your Mom is restricting you to lipstick, that other Moms are giving the green light and your friends are buying and applying this makeup on the sly. It’s funny that it’s only when you’re older, you realize Mom was right. You’ll be the same party pooper when you have a daughter of your own.
Most Moms allow a light lipstick or gloss to be worn to school when you’re 13 or 14 years old. The simple truth is, it’s age appropriate. Young girls, with their beautiful complexions and radiant skin, have natural beauty and makeup is only trying to gild the lily. Heavier makeup, such as mascara, eye shadows and liners actually serve only to hide your natural beauty. You still have the face of a child in many ways and heavy applications of makeup cover up your real assets.
For one thing, the bones of your face are not fully developed at your young age. As you approach adulthood, your face tends to lengthen. This is when balancing beauty and makeup enters a new phase. Take a look next time you’re at the mall. You’ll notice that, as women get older, some tend to use more makeup. Why? Makeup can cover up a number of flaws, such as aging skin, wrinkles and enlarged pores. With the fading of natural beauty, makeup is used to hide imperfections. As you get older, the relationship of beauty and makeup tends to reverse! Exit natural youthful beauty, enter more and heavier makeup.
As you walk through the mall doing your survey, try to be polite and not stare! You’ll see what I’m saying is true. Women who wear too much makeup tend to look harsh and lack a certain amount of femininity.
No matter what your age, the right balance of natural beauty and makeup may be summed up like this: the less makeup you can get away with using, the better! Using heavy mascara regularly can be tough on your eyelashes and may actually cause them to thin by the time you’re in your twenties. Using eyeshadow and eye liners requires that they be removed each day, which stretches this delicate skin. Do you really want saggy, wrinkled skin around the eyes before you’re thirty? Foundations and face makeup causes your skin to age prematurely.
Another myth about beauty and makeup is that girls imagine that boys will find them more attractive, or that makeup makes them look older. The truth is, boys are suspicious of girls who wear heavy makeup – they wonder what they’re hiding, both on their face and in their personalities! Wearing tons of makeup may make you look older, but not in a flattering way.
Beauty and makeup can coexist nicely. Mascara and eye shadow, lightly applied, with lipstick, are fine for special occasions. Hang onto your natural beauty as long as you can. You really don’t want to be that older, over made up woman at the mall some day, do you? Didn’t think so.
Which of These 5 Challenging Behaviors Does Your Guy Exhibit?
March 27, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Conflict is something most people want to avoid, however others just can’t seem to let things go. In fact, some individuals are not happy until they’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. We can see challenging behavior patterns at work, at the grocery store, or at a friend’s house, and they can be a problem. What we all want is to go about our business in a peaceful, non-threatening way. But, how come there are people who thrive on challenging others, for reasons unknown? Let’s take a look at the five most common cases women are often complaining and what you can do to deflect such behaviors, with a positive outcome.
Dear Candice,
My boyfriend is very arrogant and over confident. I do find confidence attractive though, but he’s too much. I’ve told him that his bragging puts me off a bit, but he still keeps bragging. How can i get this thing over? — Annabelle
Arrogance is the behavior of choice for insecure people. Such people must demonstrate their superiority in order to maintain a sense of adequacy. Next time your boyfriend brags about anything, you might want to brag to brag back. Though, this challenging behavior requires both firmness and finesse. Just keep on correcting him and be firm on what you stand for. It’s also best to try to spot a time when he is being nice, immediately give him props for that.
Dear Candice,
I recently got back together with my boyfriend, and noticed something is different. He became selfish, setting new rules to our relationship, which I think all in favor of him. He can go out with his friends alone (without me), but I cannot. How can I fix this? — Allyson
Selfishness is the earmark of the narcissistic personality. Selfish people are only interested in their own satisfaction. If your guy is being selfish, you must reprimand him during that very instance, not after a day or two. You must make him aware the he possesses this challenging behavior, and this act of trying to control you will not do any good to your relationship.
Dear Candice,
My boyfriend is getting more aggressive and violent, what can I do? – Gabrielli
Aggressive and hostile behavior is rampant in the world today. This is one of the most challenging behavior patterns. Unfounded accusations, hostile acts and aggressive violent acts can be most dangerous. If your boyfriend is more aggressive or badder than ever, you must set some time off, but make your exit as gracefully as possible. Here, discretion is indeed the better part of valor.
Dear Candice,
My boyfriend has been kind of grouchy and being manipulative, he’s just been shutting me down lately. I tried to draw him out to find out what exactly it is he’s pissed at me about, but he got really angry and started twisting my words around. It seems that I can’t say anything tight, there are a lot of accusations. He’ll take it even simple things out of context and blow it up into something huge. What can I do? – Tameka
Manipulative personalities present a special kind of challenge. These people lead you down the primrose path. What starts off as a seemingly innocent discussion turns into an ‘I told you so’ conversation. This challenging behavior pattern is a no-win. If you once recognize the manipulative personality, your best bet is to get out of the way and move on. Don’t let your boyfriend play this behavior on you, at your expense.
My boyfriend did something that was somewhat inconsiderate. He’s really being a control freak lately. What can I do? — Selena
Being a control freak is a sure sign of an insecure individual who, in order to gain a modicum of personal security, must exercise control over others. Such a person usually uses personal relationships, under cover of friendship or romantic involvement. I want to be straightforward, there is not a remedy for this type of relationship. The solution? Get out.
In the course of our everyday interactions with people, we are sure to meet people with such challenging behavior patterns. Often, we are caught unaware, even if we’ve been with the person for a period of time. Unless you’re quick on your feet, you may find an adequate response beyond your capabilities. Life is too short to waste time trying to rectify all of the world’s ills. Stay positive and just dust your feet off as necessary.
How Can You Teach Your Kids About Couple Relationships
March 24, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I’ve been a single mom for six years now. I have two beautiful daughters. My eldest is turning 18 and the youngest is 16. And they are both starting to ask questions about relationships. Sometimes I don’t feel comfortable responding… I feel that I’m not the right person to be asked and give advice, because even my own relationship with their dad didn’t work out, and they have witnessed all the hardships that I’ve been through. I’m now in a new relationship and he wants me and my kids to move in with him. But I’m indecisive still, I don’t want my kids to see this as if it’s just a normal thing to be separated then live with another man after a few years. I don’t want them to see anymore misunderstandings and anymore failures in my relationship. Given the situation, how can I teach them about couple relationships? — Sofia Meininger (San Francisco, CA)
Dear Sofia,
How you act as a couple is going to be unique from any other couple relationships. No two people are the same, so no two relationships are ever going to be the same. Many single parents, like you, have to really think about bringing someone new into the home or in your case moving in with your new partner. It is going to have the same impact. Children are going to learn what they should and should not expect and put up with in couple relationships based on how you and your significant other treat each other. The pressure is really in you, good thing is… there are some basic things you can do.
Children are going to learn all about what couple relationships are based on their parents, more often than not, parents failed to realize this fact. You have to stop and think about what you are showing your children and what they are learning from it. If you think you’ve made a mistake before, that does not mean you are a bad parent. You just did not realize how much they really pick up and learn from you. They are going to have what you have in a relationship, so be picky. Your kids move through childhood to adulthood, while watching you, just like how they’ve learned how to walk, talk, and relate.
Don’t be a victim of your past, no matter how hard we try, we are bound to make mistakes.. and that’s what continuous learning is all about. Let’s say children have no place in couple relationships, in a way that should not be aware of adult problems that are too complex for them to handle. For example, if your spouse has cheated, or done something else that threatens the union, this can not be played out in front of them. Children are more aware of everything in couple relationships problems than you may think. And how they would handle relationship problems in the future will be based on how you did handle them. What you decide as alright is what they are going to think as alright. Better to keep them away from issues and details you know they cannot handle yet.
There is always going to be disagreements and fighting in couple relationships. It is impossible for two people to be with each other for any length of time and agree on everything. What you have to think about is how you fight things out. If you shout and throw things, your children are going to think that is how you are supposed to act when you disagree, and if they grow up and meet someone like that for their relationships, they are going to accept that as that is how things are supposed to be. Take your fighting where your children can not hear it, and learn to negotiate to eliminate at least most of that shouting.
Every parent wants to be a model for their children and to be a source of hope about relationship. If your relationship is having problems now, and you are afraid that your kids are going to experience the same, a good way to deal with these is to handle and solve the problems in a logical and a peaceful manner if at all possible. Don’t worry if you think that you have already done some damage in teaching your children about couple relationships. There is always time to turn that around by changing the way that you do things. If they have questions, answer them honestly and confidently.
Marriage Counseling… From “On The Rocks” To “On Fire”
March 18, 2009 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
My marriage is on the rocks. Me and my husband have been seeking help from friends who have experienced the same and nothing seems to be helping at all. One advice we got is to go to marriage counseling, but we both don’t like the fact of rehashing the past in front of a person we barely know. All I wanted is a great marriage, but the situation now is far from being great. Please help. — Loraine
Dear Loraine,
You deserve a great marriage. And a great marriage doesn’t mean pure happiness, sometimes it needs to be tested. When it comes to relationships, many individuals and couples overlook the devotion that goes along with tying the knot. Many do not expect hardships to come along, that’s why when problems occur, many failed to recover.
Of course we all know that getting married is certainly not like having a casual significant other in your life. I bet you know already that marriage equals honesty, openness, devotion, respect, and tolerance. When you’ve made the decision to spend the rest of your days with your husband, I know that you know, that he is the right individual.
Although you’re the only one who can know who’s ideal for you, seeking advice from your friends does make sense. But the thing is your marriage is different from theirs. Good news is that there are services that can assist you with your relationship when tough times arise. I’m referring to quality marriage counseling. In this day and age you don’t have to necessarily venture off to a shrink’s office or to someone you barely know in order to receive proper and effective guidance. We now have the Internet.
Believe it or not, but you and your spouse can attain real marriage counseling via the web. Websites like marriagemax.com, marriagerescue.com, and marriageadvice.com all have something wonderful to offer couples who’re struggling with marital issues. Now, to answer your question, most likely, and to keep you from wondering how in the world an online marriage counseling service would work or even benefit your relationship in any way. Here’s what it is in a nutshell.
Online marriage counseling basically goes like this; you can acquire professional marriage counseling through doctors found online. Many offer excellent marital advice free of charge. However, a major method taken advantage of by couples all over the world is a simple discussion group. This is what websites such as marriageadvice.com offer. Numerous married couples dive into this nifty forum environment and vent their issues. In return married couples can offer other couples sound advice. Strategies and solutions that seriously helped their relationship. This is how so many couples and individuals enjoy obtaining assistance now days. It’s often easier, more convenient, and less expensive than seeing a licensed psychiatrist. Plus, you don’t have to put your face out there for the world to see. You have the ability to remain unknown.
Try to consider online marriage counseling if your relationship is experiencing some rough patches. This new-age route works so well for oodles of couples around the globe. Chances are Internet marriage counseling will benefit your relationship as well. Check it out today! What have you really got to lose? Your marriage is worth the extra effort. Turn your marriage from being “on the rocks” to “on fire.” Don’t let it go without a fight!
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