Things You Need To Do Before Getting Your Ex Back
January 9, 2009 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
I can not get over my ex boyfriend of 3 1/2 years. He has put me through so much heart ache but I still love him more than anything in this entire world. I do not want to live without him but it seems that he just does not care, it’s as if all the time we put into us, was a waste. I want to get my boyfriend back, what can I do? – Tanja
Dear Tanja,
There are, in fact, a few things you really need to do before you even think about your first move toward getting your boyfriend back. It is about commitment and determination. Unless you have these bases covered, your efforts simply won’t pay off. Let’s look at the two initial keys to getting your boyfriend back.
The very first thing you need to do is to totally and seriously commit yourself to taking action. Sound incredibly simple and obvious? Perhaps, but it’s really quite important. Lack of action is the number one reason many relationships never get the second chances they deserve.
Emotional paralysis as some would call it. People are so addled over a break up that they don’t even feel like they have it in them to actually do anything. They wish their boyfriend would come back, but they just never get past the wishing stage.
That situation is understandable, though. A break up can be very emotionally draining. Guilt, anger, inadequacy, rejection, betrayal or even depression. If not all, one or two of these are the feelings you might be dealing at this very moment. Under those circumstances, it can be very hard to gather the energy you need to actually take action.
Still, we all know that daydreaming won’t get you back together with your ex. You have no choice but to get him back if you really want to get him back. You must find the power to commit yourself. You need to brace yourself to being proactive, again, if you really want to rebuild the relationship. Inoperativeness guarantees failure.
Next thing you need to do is to embark on a course of action that has good chances of getting your ex back. That means that you shouldn’t operate purely on instinct or “by the seat of your pants”. You need to seek out a quality catalog or blueprint that will spell out exactly what you need to do in order to get your ex boyfriend back.
You see Tanja, you might be a great person, but just like me you aren’t an expert on human relationships. Most of your friends and loved ones lack expertise, too. Instead of relying on questionable advice, It surely make sense to check out real recommendations from people who know the love game from core to crust.
Commitment and Determination to take action. Those are the two keys to getting a boyfriend back—tasks you must accomplish if you want to have a rebound relationship. A combination of a will to take serious action and a solid strategy based on a comprehensive understanding of what makes men tick and relationships work, you’ll be in the perfect position to get your ex boyfriend back.
The Kind Of Woman Who Can Get An Ex Boyfriend Back Is Someone Like You
January 5, 2009 | 2 Comments
Dear Candice,
Me and my boyfriend broke up. The day after, my friend and her boyfriend broke up. We both want to get our exes back, but we both don’t know how and where to turn to then. The next thing I knew was that my friend and her ex were an item again. I’m clueless. What kind of woman can do that? What type of person has that kind of influence and power? What does it really take to get an ex boyfriend back? — Frida (San Carlos, CA)
Dear Frida,
Some women think that only a supermodel with flawless skin, shiny hair, drop-dead gorgeous looks and a wardrobe to die for, can get her ex back. She’s probably wealthy, or powerful, or… hold it now! Do you really think that only this kind of woman can snap her finger and have any man running back to her side? Can be, but not for long.
Sure, our hypothetical character might be able to make up after a break up. However, more after than not, an immediate break up follows right after the make up. If you want to see the kind of woman who can get her ex boyfriend back, you just need to find the nearest mirror.
Your friend took action. Your friend probably have found and used a good approach to get an ex back. You can get your boyfriend back too Frida. In fact, anyone can get her boyfriend back. Long legs, large breasts, bedroom eyes, wealth, success… these are relatively meaningless. Getting your ex back is a matter of planning and effort. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s all it takes to have a rebound relationship.
In the aftermath of a break up, we sometimes denigrate ourselves a bit. Wondering if we’re pretty enough, good enough or smart enough to get our boyfriend back. We find ourselves wrapped in doubt.
During these trying times, we end up putting ourselves in a rough spot. If you want to get your ex back you simply must find a way out. You won’t rebuild your relationship by waiting, mourning and wondering about your value as a person. Questioning your self-esteem won’t make you more interesting to him. Hoping for the best is a recipe for disaster.
Frida, you are the kind of woman who can get your ex boyfriend back. Your friend can be an inspiration, definitely she is. What you need to do now is to set your mind to the task and put forth a well-planned effort. If you do, you can get your man again.
As for that mystery woman with everything going her way, who knows if she has it in her to get her ex back. Does she have what it takes? The commitment? The plan? Without it, she’s just a gorgeous, powerful, wealthy woman who may be wishing she could get her man back.
When I was in pursuit of my ex, I’ve casted doubts aside. I chose and started to get busy with the project of rebuilding my relationship way back then, seriously. If you’re spending more time worrying and wondering rather than being proactive, it’s time to shift gears. Let me tell you one more time — you can get your man back. Love can find a way, it just needs you to help it out a little bit… be its map.
Escape Regret – A Strong Reason To Consider Trying To Get Your Ex Back
December 29, 2008 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
Been going out with my boyfriend for a year and broke up with him last week. I am not sure why I did this. We were both being crappy and fighting. I immediately regretted my decision. What shall I do? – Nikki
Dear Nikki,
I have heard so many stories about going through a break up only to regret at a later time for not trying to save the relationship, sad tale it is. When you break up with someone and later regret your decision, is there anything you can do to get him back? The answer is, yes!
If you know that you had something special and you felt as though the relationship was deserving of a second chance, then it’s worth trying to get him back. However, for some reason, people failed to listen to their heart and let the partnership die. The story is always a fable of regret, punctuated by wishes that something else had happened.
That certainly isn’t the situation you want to find yourself in. If you are not comfortable with the breakup and you don’t want to regret in the end, go try getting back together with your ex — it’s indeed a very strong reason to consider to get your ex back. If you feel like he’s special and that the relationship had potential to be something wonderful, you will undoubtedly regret not taking action in the long run.
Let me ask you, do you want to be that someone that reflects on a later time in your life wondering what might have happened if you would have followed through on your feelings? You don’t want to think about him decades from now, wishing you knew where he was, what he was doing, and what things might be like if you had picked up the phone back when your heart was screaming at you to take a second chance on love.
If you believe that breaking up with your ex was a mistake you have to stand up and step forward to save the relationship. There are a lot of people who went through break ups, but did so only after making a sincere and heartfelt attempt at a second chance. They might not have succeeded then, but they moved forward with a certain comfort as a result of making an effort and they found love again.
There are those who did not step forward, though… those who did not put forth an effort. They are those who have regrets. They chose to spend their days wondering about what might have happened if things went differently. They chose to live in the past rather than taking living in the present as an option. They have failed to take action when it was needed the most. You have an option not to be like them.
There’s no prettier than the ugliest days of a break up but having regrets. If you want him back, try to get him back. It surely is the best thing to do. If you don’t mind the break up and you’re relatively sure things wouldn’t have amounted too much with him in the long run, then it isn’t necessarily a good idea to try to revive your relationship. On the other hand, if you want your ex boyfriend back you owe it to yourself to take immediate and serious action in an effort to rebuild the relationship.
Tapping the Wrong Approach Won’t Get Your Boyfriend Back
December 19, 2008 | 71 Comments
Dear Candice,
My boyfriend broke up with me, he said he is done fighting. I really want to work things out. It’s been five months, and I’m still waiting for his call. I followed some of my friends advice to get him back, but none worked. There are times that I can’t make up my mind? What shall I do? – Saddie
Dear Saddie,
From the way I see it, you tried to get your boyfriend back, but failed. You did not get him back because you’ve tapped the wrong approach. These common errors leave countless relationships for dead on the rocky shores of a break up. These are the kind of mistakes that ruin the opportunity to revive and maintain relationships that might have flowered into something really amazing. In other words, what you did are huge errors and you should bed over backwards to avoid committing them again.
Waiting for him to make the first move was your first mistake. While you’re waiting for him, he might be waiting for you. Until someone blinks, the relationship doesn’t get out of break up territory. Besides, every day wasted on waiting is another day of unnecessary suffering. Face your fears and make a move as soon as possible. Your odds to get your boyfriend back improve with fast action. It also delays risk intervening developments that can greatly complicate any effort at getting back together.
Everywhere you turn people, especially those who care for you, are offering you advice on how to handle your break up. Although the advice was from your friend, most of it you’re getting is nonsense. It may be well-intended, but the attitudes of your friends and family members bear very little similarity to the ideas and recommendations of a true relationship expert. Following bad advice can nearly crush an effort at making up. It is important to be wary of friendly guidance. Listen politely, but take your action cues from someone who has spent a considerable amount of time and research on getting an ex back.
You said that sometimes you can’t make up your mind. Well, let me tell you to please – get yourself together and make up your mind. Do you really want to get him back or not? Don’t get on the high wire without a net. If your plan is to get your boyfriend back, you need to enter the making up process with a clear plan in mind. If you’re going in blind, basing your actions on hunches and your opinions, you probably aren’t going to get very far.
Don’t worry. You can still get him back. Just keep from these common errors. You stand a good chance of getting your boyfriend back, just keep on trying. If, on the other hand, you stumble into one of these pitfalls again, your efforts to rebuild the relationship will be significantly compromised. Act now, act smart and cast your fears off. Having those fundamentals in place may take you from breaking up to making up in quick order.
Getting your ex boyfriend back can be surprisingly easy if you’re armed with the right information and knowledge before making a move. A good plan that does make sense. If you have a problem with your keys, you look to a locksmith for help, right? If you’re car won’t run right, you call a mechanic. So it does make sense to call on advice of a relationship guru who can give you good advice about getting your ex boyfriend back.
The Makings of An Unhappy Rebound Relationship
December 18, 2008 | 1 Comment
“don’t know that is always so empowering to get your ex back – sometimes there’s a good reason why they’re your EX!” — healthy_you.
Got this comment a couple of days ago. Yes, she may be right, it’s not all about getting your boyfriend back, at all.
When you consider rebuilding your relationship with your ex, you’ve got to know the signals of a future, unhappy rebound relationship. You may hit the jackpot, that dream relationship everyone hopes to have is yours again. He remained to be a supportive, sensitive partner who understands where you’re coming from. He’s a good listener who lightens your moments of fear and despair, while joining you in a good and much needed laugh and giggles. Your ex boyfriend stood by you, no matter what happened in the past. This relationship is characterized by a reciprocal caring and a positive outlook. This is a very lucky situation indeed, a good start down the road to a long and happy rebound relationship.
Life is ambiguous, as some would say. Full of complex and difficult problem. In one way or another, trouble is guaranteed to find you, before you actually go looking for it. That’s why most people are searching for some degree of personal happiness. Many people luckily found their happiness in an ethical manner with their special someone.
However, some may enter into a relationship wearing the proverbial rose colored glasses. They are those desperate for another human being to understand them and stand by them in times of trouble. They might even attribute worthy characteristics to an unworthy ex boyfriend. It’s easy to fall prey to a relationship when you’re lonely, but sooner or later, that’s bound for trouble. This is a the making for an unhappy rebound relationship.
Being emotionally needy will put you up with just about anything that individual wants to throw your way, for the sake of a false sense of emotional security. There’s definitely something wrong with this picture. The product of emotional desperation and a negative approach to life is always unhappy relationships.
So, can you exactly determine if it’s good or bad to get your ex back? Unhappy rebound relationships tend to evolve over time. That sweetheart of yesterday may turn into tomorrow’s nightmare. So, what are the telltale signs?
In most cases, unhappy rebound relationships begin with unhappy people. Let us say you are the one who’s optimist, hoping to ‘fix’ the partner with a negative outlook. While your ex boyfriend is negative person, he may be intelligent or good looking, but his negative attitude will eventually permeate the entire relationship. Try to recall how your ex responded to adversity.
Everyone becomes annoyed or discouraged every now and then. So, you shouldn’t base your conclusion on occasional ‘waking up at the wrong side of the bed’ days. However, when every adversity is met with negativity, whining and other self-pitying techniques, this is when you should seriously reevaluate rebuilding the relationship.
If this person is perfect for you in every other way, try reforming the behavior before you just move on to happier pastures. This should be frank talk. Talk about how negativity seems to color the relationship. You can try to manage example situations as they crop up. Counter the negative with a positive alternative.
No one deserves to suffer an unhappy relationship, particularly when there are plenty of people with a positive focus trying to rebuild one. If your efforts result in madness, without any real communication happening, your best option is to realize that some people actually enjoy being unhappy. Life is too short to waste years being unhappy, so why rebuild?
Candice Garcia’s and Curtis Daniel’s Blog
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