If You Want To Get Your Ex Back, Does It Matter If He Wants You Back?

Dear Candice,

I think I really pushed my boyfriend away with my jealousy. I broke up with him because I was jealous on his good relations with his friends at work. It’s been 2 months now and I really want to get him back. But what if he doesn’t want to anymore? Does it matter if my ex wants me back too? -  Rachel (Bloomington, Indiana)

Dear Rachel,

Yes, it does matter if your ex boyfriend wants you back. But that doesn’t mean that you will put down your own chances just because he has no plans of getting you back. Whether your ex wants you back or not, you can still get him back. The answer hinges on your willingness to put forth an exceptional effort in the face of difficult odds and in your own personal sense of ethics and morality.

The answer is actually a little more complicated than what you might think. Here’s what I mean. You can get your boyfriend back whether he really has thoughts about reuniting or not. This happens very often. A guy who’s completely sure that he wants out of a relationship for good is persuaded to give it another shot. In some sense, it doesn’t matter if he’s excited about getting back together again or not. If you want him back… you certainly can, but you need to use the right plan – that’s what matters.

Before you come up to a right plan, you should consider these factors to effectively get your ex boyfriend back.

Put forth an exception effort. The less interested your ex boyfriend is in rebuilding the relationship, the more difficult it will be to get him back. Thus, on some level, his interest does matter. If your ex boyfriend is dead set against ever laying eyes on you again, you need to put forth an almost Herculean effort to rekindle your relationship. Keep this in mind, getting him back would be more difficult in this case, but absolutely not impossible.

Stop and check your motivations. You should stop to check your own motivations, if your ex boyfriend is bound and determined against getting together again. Efforts to re-initiate a relationship when one partner is dead set against it are, in most cases, motivated more by things like jealousy or to prove a point rather than nurturing true love. Now, if you are going after your ex just to prove something to him, for the sake of revenge or because you feel jealous… take a pause check your motivations.

Smart tactics and persuasive strategies will not work. Consider the ethics of getting your ex boyfriend back if he really doesn’t want to give the relationship a second chance. You might want to think about what he really wants and how your efforts fit into the picture, because using smart tactics and persuasive strategies might complicates the situation and totally ruin your chance to get your ex back.

Being sensitive on how your ex boyfriend feels about rebuilding your relationship is important. It will definitely make your work at re-starting the relationship easier if he’s an active participant! It also matters in terms of your own individual sense of responsibility. But it all boils down to one thing, whether your ex boyfriend is excited at the prospect of rebuilding your relationship again or not,you can get your ex boyfriend back. You certainly can go from breaking up to making up.