It’s possible to set responsibility to any situation even if you feel it’s partly someone else’s fault but at the end of the day
you can only take so much responsibility yourself. Also, being guilty or acting guilty, by taking responsibility can be seen as weakness and this can be highly unattractive.

Maybe it will be worthwhile to address, what sounds like, why your partner may have this confidence issues and evaluating if this is something under your control or could never be under your control.

My partner has had low self esteem issues since long before I met her and going through the list of symptoms, I’d have to say I identify her behaviour in many of them.

I’ve found many times when she has been verbally abusing me, running me down and saying nasty things to me. I will get angry and say something back that relates to the cause of her self esteem and causes her pain. Immediately afterwards I feel a great sense of guilt and I end up taking responsibility for everything and apologising, even when I feel I’m not solely to blame

Is it normal to respond in anger to these situations, or is my anger unfounded and is it myself that is the cause of these problems. I am basically a happy adjusted person who performs well in the work environment and I have no problem working and interacting with other people.

My partner is always seeking sympathy and relies on the opinion of other people for her self worth, We met when I was under difficult finacial circumstances and she was very kind and helped me out a great deal, doing a little shopping for me when she came to visit ect… But now she keeps throwing this back at me and making me feel guilty. I appreciate everything she had done, but at the time had i known she was keeping tabs, I would have refused her help.

I really need to understand if it’s her behaviour that is causing me to respond negatively or lose my temper, or if it’s me that has the problem. is it normal for healthy adjusted people tpo respond to toxic people on their own level? or am I as much to blame as her? Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Glad I found you on Twitter! You’re a great writer on subject matter that really needs spoken about.