Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend, What’s Enough and What’s Too Much?

March 16, 2009 | By Candice | In Advice, Relationship 

Dear Candice,

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months now. I know not much about him, though we are getting along very well. I want to get to know him better. I want to know more about his friends, work, family, especially past relationships. But I’m kinda afraid of how would he react if I ask TMI about him. What are the right questions to ask? — Arlene Trent

Dear Arlene,

Knowing the right questions to ask your boyfriend and the correct things to tell him can really help you make and keep the peace in the relationship. There are some guys who may tell you TMI [too much information] about them, however, there are questions that may not be appropriate to ask. For two reasons: comfort and timing. Yes, even the most honest guys won’t tell their girlfriends all about them if they are not comfortable enough and if the timing is not right.

What’s Enough? Just ask what you need to know, but don’t throw the questions all at one time. Of course, the questions to ask a guy vary somewhat from guy to guy. Nonetheless, there are some questions that are universal. What you need to know about your partner are his needs and interests, his baggage and issues, and his long term plan.

Ask him what he is looking for in a relationship, what his previous relationships have been like, what tends to work for him and what doesn’t. Ask him about his family and his friends. Keep track of what themes come up over and over again. What parts of his life are working well, and what parts tend to get him in trouble. These questions to ask your boyfriend can really help you to understand what kind of guy you are dating and if you want to get in to a long term thing with him.

What’s too much? It can be too much if timing is not right. There are some things you can ask about early on even if you are casually dating, but you have to be careful. There are many questions to ask your boyfriend that can be damaging if asked too early. Avoid asking questions about commitment. There is a good chance that he is still feeling out the relationship and is not in a position to make a decision one way or another.

Even if you are not asking him to commit to you, these kinds of questions can still make him a bit wary of the relationship. Questions related to commitment need to be asked at the right time, failure to do so may derail a good thing before it starts really working. You don’t want your relationship be a “close but no cigar” case, right?

Still, in general if there is a question to ask your boyfriend that really intrigues you, you should not be afraid to ask. If you are, it is a sign that things are not working out as they should. You should always feel at ease with speaking your mind, no matter what the situation is. After all, you will definitely never know about something… until you ask. If you do not feel right around someone, you should probably not be dating him in the first place.

Blog Widget by LinkWithinShare This Post

Tagged: 

One Response to “Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend, What’s Enough and What’s Too Much?”

  1. Kelebogile on January 27th, 2010 12:56 am

    Im so deep to the earth i feel like crying all the time. I have never be in love after my last 11yrs relationship. i found boyfried after two weeks is not the person i have meet. I want to giveup in lov couse always i get heart and dont know what to do

    i feel so longly inside i just need to be loved like any woman being. maybe i have a problem i dont know, i have try to see what mybe the problem i can not get the answer plz.

Got something to say?