How To Bounce Back From A Break Up

November 23, 2009 | 2 Comments

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend for eight years broke up with me six months ago because I said some things to him that weren’t too nice. I realize I was mean and have apologized sincerely but he said I went to far, he can no longer take me and is insistent that its over. So here I am, after six months, still feeling completely terrible for what I’ve done and that I lost someone I so love, who has been part of my life for a long time, over some harsh words. How can I get over this feeling? How can I bounce back from a breakup… to feel happy and whole again? I also tried to see some other guys, but just didn’t work out. Any suggestions on how to cope and feel better? Or even any good ideas on how to make up with him to fix the situation? — Sophia

Dear Sophia,

Thank you for your letter, I know a lot of people who can relate to your situation, and that includes me. I know how it feels like to be in a long-term relationship then in a snap be single again… it’s like a total reboot. And it’s never easy to get back up, bounce back from a break up, and start over again.

Going out with someone to cover up the absence of your ex? I have had fair share of that. And yes, none of it worked. It’s because we feel rather “naked” when it comes to dating men. Often, there are too much problems and drama whenever two people break up and there’s a lot of issues that’s hard to deal with, making it hard for us to invest our feelings once again.

One thing I’ve learned from this is to never loose hope that everything will get better with time. Time heals all wounds, and it’s best to wait for that time, when you’re totally healed and recovered, before getting into a new relationship. Putting yourself together can be really hard. It may take more than six months or years to feel like “you are yourself again” and ready to date men once again.

After a break up, take some time to clear your thoughts and mend your heart. How? First, and the most effective, is to clear your room with all items that may remind you of him. Then spend time with your family and and friends. Do the things that you missed doing with them, have fun! If at the end of the day, you feel like you want to cry, then let yourself cry. I assure you, there will come a day that you won’t feel like crying anymore.

Another thing that you can do to bounce back up after a breakup is to find new hobbies. Go out in the sun and get busy! Discover places or learn new sports or volunteer for charitable cause. This will give you so much time to turn over a new leaf and become a much better person.

You see, there are so many things that you can do to move on after a break up. You don’t really have to rush back into a new relationship. Perhaps there’s no need for a new relationship. Sure, there are ways to have that magic of making up with your boyfriend. But first, you need to be yourself again.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Moving On