Common Mistakes That Can Spoil Your Odds Of Getting Him Back

October 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Dear Candice,

I really want my ex boyfriend back, that I often call his Mom, younger sister and bestfriend, to know his whereabouts or if he is going out with some girl friends. He was my very first boyfriend and happens to be the first guy that hurt me too. I’m aware that getting in touch with his friends might bug him, but this is the only way I know to see if there’s still a chance for us to get back together. I’m also planning to change how I look, like a total make over.  Can I still get him back? Shall i wait? I’m too scared to take more actions right now that might ruin my chance to get him back.  – Sally, 17 (Chicago, Illinois)

Dear Sally,

I can feel that you really want your ex boyfriend back. And to answer your question if you can do it? Yes you can! Many relationships go through rocky periods, including break ups, and emerge stronger and more stable afterwards. You can get your guy back and be part of that big group of post-break up success stories.

You said that you are scared, that is normal. Getting from here to there can be a somewhat tricky, especially for someone like you have fallen in love and got hurt for the first time. That’s because there are so many different traps into which you can fall. You are right, if you goof and make a major mistake, it might ruin your shot at getting him back in your life. There are actually more ways to ruin an attempt at a relationship revival than there are ways of pulling it off successfully. However, if you know what to look out for and do a good job of avoiding these mistakes, you’ll be in a much better position with respect to getting your man back. Let me tell you the most common mistakes that may sidetrack your efforts in getting your ex boyfriend back.

Putting too much faith in love. That sounds pretty crazy, doesn’t it? After all, it’s your belief that your relationship is so meaningful that’s driving you to try to revive it. If you didn’t believe in love, you’d just move on without even trying. That’s true and a deep abiding belief in the power of true love is a great thing. But then again, we all know what they say about having too much of a good thing.

Let me put it this way, many people simply assume that things will work out on their own because a relationship is simply meant to be. That’s where the problem sets in and it is a critical mistake. Fate is so fickle and you can’t count on it to perform the right way without a little bit of direction and assistance. You need to take action. Don’t just wait and hope for the best. If you value your relationship, don’t let it slip, do something now to get your boyfrriend back.

Another mistake is to believe that superficial alterations will bring him crawling back. Sure, you might attract his attention with a shorter skirt, a low-cut blouse and a newly rebonded hair, but that’s not what will really bring him back. The surface changes, more often than not, connotes desperation, totally not attractive, and don’t serve to address underlying issues or real keys to making up.

If you feel like making a few changes, like changing your looks, for your own sake… so be it. But if your think that these adjustments will somehow make you more attractive to him, think again. Infact, totally forget about it! There are better ways to spend your time and more important things upon which to focus your efforts.

The tendency to believe that “all bets are off” when it comes to getting a guy back is also a big mistake. Some ladies suddenly throws away their ethics and morals out the window when in pursuit of an ex boyfriend. Even goes for tricky strategies and outright lies to get a guy back, believing that “anything goes”.

Sure, those tricky strategies may work in a short run, but they don’t really pay off. Rebuilding your relationship works a lot better when it is based on sound and honest foundation. You’ll be well on your way to re-kindle the flames of passion with your ex boyfriend, if you can avoid those mistakes. Stay principled and act in a way that you’ll always be proud of. That’s a much better way of getting your boyfriend back.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship