Tapping the Wrong Approach Won’t Get Your Boyfriend Back
December 19, 2008 | 71 Comments
Dear Candice,
My boyfriend broke up with me, he said he is done fighting. I really want to work things out. It’s been five months, and I’m still waiting for his call. I followed some of my friends advice to get him back, but none worked. There are times that I can’t make up my mind? What shall I do? – Saddie
Dear Saddie,
From the way I see it, you tried to get your boyfriend back, but failed. You did not get him back because you’ve tapped the wrong approach. These common errors leave countless relationships for dead on the rocky shores of a break up. These are the kind of mistakes that ruin the opportunity to revive and maintain relationships that might have flowered into something really amazing. In other words, what you did are huge errors and you should bed over backwards to avoid committing them again.
Waiting for him to make the first move was your first mistake. While you’re waiting for him, he might be waiting for you. Until someone blinks, the relationship doesn’t get out of break up territory. Besides, every day wasted on waiting is another day of unnecessary suffering. Face your fears and make a move as soon as possible. Your odds to get your boyfriend back improve with fast action. It also delays risk intervening developments that can greatly complicate any effort at getting back together.
Everywhere you turn people, especially those who care for you, are offering you advice on how to handle your break up. Although the advice was from your friend, most of it you’re getting is nonsense. It may be well-intended, but the attitudes of your friends and family members bear very little similarity to the ideas and recommendations of a true relationship expert. Following bad advice can nearly crush an effort at making up. It is important to be wary of friendly guidance. Listen politely, but take your action cues from someone who has spent a considerable amount of time and research on getting an ex back.
You said that sometimes you can’t make up your mind. Well, let me tell you to please – get yourself together and make up your mind. Do you really want to get him back or not? Don’t get on the high wire without a net. If your plan is to get your boyfriend back, you need to enter the making up process with a clear plan in mind. If you’re going in blind, basing your actions on hunches and your opinions, you probably aren’t going to get very far.
Don’t worry. You can still get him back. Just keep from these common errors. You stand a good chance of getting your boyfriend back, just keep on trying. If, on the other hand, you stumble into one of these pitfalls again, your efforts to rebuild the relationship will be significantly compromised. Act now, act smart and cast your fears off. Having those fundamentals in place may take you from breaking up to making up in quick order.
Getting your ex boyfriend back can be surprisingly easy if you’re armed with the right information and knowledge before making a move. A good plan that does make sense. If you have a problem with your keys, you look to a locksmith for help, right? If you’re car won’t run right, you call a mechanic. So it does make sense to call on advice of a relationship guru who can give you good advice about getting your ex boyfriend back.
The Makings of An Unhappy Rebound Relationship
December 18, 2008 | 1 Comment
“don’t know that is always so empowering to get your ex back – sometimes there’s a good reason why they’re your EX!” — healthy_you.
Got this comment a couple of days ago. Yes, she may be right, it’s not all about getting your boyfriend back, at all.
When you consider rebuilding your relationship with your ex, you’ve got to know the signals of a future, unhappy rebound relationship. You may hit the jackpot, that dream relationship everyone hopes to have is yours again. He remained to be a supportive, sensitive partner who understands where you’re coming from. He’s a good listener who lightens your moments of fear and despair, while joining you in a good and much needed laugh and giggles. Your ex boyfriend stood by you, no matter what happened in the past. This relationship is characterized by a reciprocal caring and a positive outlook. This is a very lucky situation indeed, a good start down the road to a long and happy rebound relationship.
Life is ambiguous, as some would say. Full of complex and difficult problem. In one way or another, trouble is guaranteed to find you, before you actually go looking for it. That’s why most people are searching for some degree of personal happiness. Many people luckily found their happiness in an ethical manner with their special someone.
However, some may enter into a relationship wearing the proverbial rose colored glasses. They are those desperate for another human being to understand them and stand by them in times of trouble. They might even attribute worthy characteristics to an unworthy ex boyfriend. It’s easy to fall prey to a relationship when you’re lonely, but sooner or later, that’s bound for trouble. This is a the making for an unhappy rebound relationship.
Being emotionally needy will put you up with just about anything that individual wants to throw your way, for the sake of a false sense of emotional security. There’s definitely something wrong with this picture. The product of emotional desperation and a negative approach to life is always unhappy relationships.
So, can you exactly determine if it’s good or bad to get your ex back? Unhappy rebound relationships tend to evolve over time. That sweetheart of yesterday may turn into tomorrow’s nightmare. So, what are the telltale signs?
In most cases, unhappy rebound relationships begin with unhappy people. Let us say you are the one who’s optimist, hoping to ‘fix’ the partner with a negative outlook. While your ex boyfriend is negative person, he may be intelligent or good looking, but his negative attitude will eventually permeate the entire relationship. Try to recall how your ex responded to adversity.
Everyone becomes annoyed or discouraged every now and then. So, you shouldn’t base your conclusion on occasional ‘waking up at the wrong side of the bed’ days. However, when every adversity is met with negativity, whining and other self-pitying techniques, this is when you should seriously reevaluate rebuilding the relationship.
If this person is perfect for you in every other way, try reforming the behavior before you just move on to happier pastures. This should be frank talk. Talk about how negativity seems to color the relationship. You can try to manage example situations as they crop up. Counter the negative with a positive alternative.
No one deserves to suffer an unhappy relationship, particularly when there are plenty of people with a positive focus trying to rebuild one. If your efforts result in madness, without any real communication happening, your best option is to realize that some people actually enjoy being unhappy. Life is too short to waste years being unhappy, so why rebuild?
Take Charge Then Get Your Boyfriend Back
December 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
After 3 years I broke up with my boyfriend because I thought that he was holding me back from a lot of things. I love him dearly and now I really want him back into my life. What can I do to get him back? – Kris
Dear Kris,
What you can do is to take a stand to preserve your relationship. You don’t really have to force yourself to accept an undesirable breakup. The decision to get an ex boyfriend back can be a step toward taking control of one’s life. And if you want to surely control your life — take charge!
Some people run their own lives, others let life happen to them. That’s true on a variety of levels, but we often see it when it comes to relationships and, particularly, to break ups. Many women experience break ups and just live with the outcome — even when they really want the relationship would continue.
I’ve been through a lot of breakups too. I used to accept and instill on my mind that breakup happens. Until I decided to take charge. I’ve realized that many break ups don’t really need to be permanent. In fact, you could persuasively argue that almost all break ups are optional. Relationships experience difficult times for a variety of reasons but in most cases a little concentrated effort can overcome the obstacle that led to the relationship being sidetracked.
Yes, breakup happens all the time. There are, in fact, countless happy couples out there who have gone through break ups. However, they reunited and emerged stronger, with a more fulfilled partnership. Almost all strong relationships undergo tough times at some point.
So, you are currently going through an unwanted break up and your in doubt entertaining the notion of getting your ex boyfriend back. Well, the fact that you are thinking about getting him back might lead you to verge of a personal breakthrough. It’s definitely empowering to confront your lousy reality and then transform it into a wonderful future.
More often than not, what separates those amazing success stories from the numerous failed relationships that probably deserved a second chance, was not a matter of luck. Rebuilding a relationship takes one person who’s willing to wake up and make a decision to make things work.
Take charge – rebound relationships don’t happen on their own. A man decided to visit his ex girlfriend. A woman decided to call an ex boyfriend. Someone decided not to throw it all away. Someone decided that the partnership was special and that it was worth stepping forward and making a move to rebuild it. There is always someone involved, someone who has the the ability and means to meet situations effectively, thus taking meaningful action.
If you don’t want the break up and you are sure that the two of you should continue seeing one another, you have the opportunity to stand up and fix things. You can be the person who takes action for your relationship. You can take action to get your ex boyfriend back. You can take control and rebuild your special relationship.
Contrast that with the alternative. The relationship drifts away and you never get a chance to make it work. You decide to let life happen to you instead of taking charge. Now, I’ll leave this all up to you. Which option sounds more fulfilling? More empowering?
Break Ups Are Optional – Yes It Is!
December 15, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I’ve been reading your posts and you often times said that ‘break ups are optional’ and ‘break ups don’t need to be permanent’… I know for a fact that rebuilding a relationship is difficult, I’ve tried rebuilding one once. I would love to try again. But how can I make it right this time? Is it really optional? – Dolores (Saint Louis, Missouri)
Dear Dolores,
Many women experience unwanted break ups and mistakenly believe that they must live with the results. It happens way too often. Many women, including myself and my bestfriend, simply accept the fact that the relationship ended. We did not do anything to fight for what we know to be right. We’ll never know how many potentially amazing and wonderful relationships have died in unnecessary break ups.
Break ups are optional? I was once skeptic too. But I’ve thought about the evidence out there, that we don’t really have to break up if we don’t want to do so. There are, in fact, wonderful relationships that went through tough times too. Those relationships became strong relationships.
Do you know a couple with great long-term relationships? If so, dig about their history. You might be surprised to find out that many of those great relationships went “on the rocks” at one point or another. Those relationships have experienced full and all-out break ups too.
And if you dig more, you’ll be able to know that there’s only one secret why they have such great relationship — They thrive to survive until today! What does that mean to you? It seems like pretty solid evidence that it is possible to get your ex boyfriend back and to start rebuilding your relationship. Others have done it already. For sure, more and more will do it in the future.
And this one is a breakthrough – only one person took action and did just that. One person who was so determined to get an ex back. You can do that for your relationship.
We should also consider the expert analysis that’s been poured into this topic over the years. Experts in human behavior, psychology and relationships have noted that it is possible to take particular actions that will result in an increased likelihood of getting back together with an ex.
These relationship gurus have compiled their proven techniques into detailed blueprints anyone can use to get an ex boyfriend back. The idea that you have to just accept the end of a relationship in which you believe just doesn’t make much sense in light of that. Just read what others have said about using these plans to successfully reignite the flames of passion. These strategies are proven and they help people get back together with exes every single day.
Bottom line is, break ups really are optional when you have the right information. If you want to be together, and your heart echoes that sentiment, listen to your heart and just make it happen. You can get your ex boyfriend back. In the final analysis, break ups are optional – yes it is!
Prepare Yourself Before Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
December 12, 2008 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago and I still can’t stop thinking about him, it’s driving me crazy. I still love him so much. I’ve tried to get her out of my mind but I can’t because I’m still hoping that we can still get back with each other. Will it be easy to do it? What do I need to do before getting him back? – Brianna
Dear Brianna,
Getting your boyfriend back after a break up is a situation that can be handled correctly. But this is not possible without the use of the right approach and strategy to rebuild the relationship. There’s a comprehensive blueprint available that you can actually follow to secure your ex again. However, there are few things that you’ll need to take before you start trying out various approaches to get your ex boyfriend back.
What you need to do is to prepare yourself. Preparedness and willingness to take action is the critical first step to getting back together with your ex. Let me tell you that a lot of potentially fantastic relationship have died in unnecessary break ups. This is because neither of involved failed to take action. No one stepped forward. They have their own reasons: fear, pride, exhaustion or something else. Without them realizing that the failure to act doomed their partnership.
Now, the question is… how? First, you’ll need to commit yourself to your goal wholeheartedly. You’ll need to do some soul-searching and make sure that you want him back in your life and you’ll then want to follow that up with finding the motivation necessary to take consistent, serious action. Once you have done that, you can move on to the second prerequisite to getting your man back — a plan.
What sort of plan? You will need a good plan that is indispensable as you work to revive your relationship. If you operate purely on hunches, guesswork and a “fly by the night” mindset of yours, it will be exceedingly difficult to get him back. Rebuilding a relationship requires more than just a willingness to act, it requires the right actions, too. A good plan will provide you an outlet for the action while giving you the confidence that will help inspire to do even more action.
Good thing is, there’s no reason to fly blind on this one. There are relationship experts and gurus who, in their own lives, have made it work and figured out what makes relationships thump. They know the tricks and approaches that can take almost any couple from breaking up to making up in short order. They’ve compiled some wonderful resources that you can use as a blueprint for winning your ex boyfriend back.
Preparedness will put you in an excellent position to re-initiate your relationship. So, before making a phone call and before you even smile in his direction, you need to have these, seriously — commitment and a plan. You need a complete willingness and preparedness to take action and commit to it. And a good plan, to help direct that action.
Candice Garcia’s Blog
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