Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Without The Silliness
November 13, 2008 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
I’ve been planning my moves to get my ex boyfriend back. I actually bought a new wardrobe to somewhat change how I look. I’m also planning to change my hairstyle and get into bowling because I’ve heard from his friends that he’s into bowling nowadays. Are these the right ways to get my ex boyfriend back? – Jaz (Asheville, N Carolina)
Dear Jaz,
I understand what you are up to and I’ve seen it myself. Some women who decided to get their ex boyfriends back is amazing. And thinking how far these women can go to win their ex boyfriends back is even more amazing, and yes… silly. In fact, I’ve been there. A couple break ups and I decided to rebuild the relationship. I’ve embarked on a journey to get my man back that involves all sorts of certainly crazy behavior.
Now, let me tell you my story to help you settle the matter. At one point, I’ve decided to change my looks after a breakup. My brunette-head suddenly turned into platinum blond with a new haircut. Thanks to my stylist and the tanning salon. I also seriously became a bird who barely eats in an effort to lose a few pounds from being an athletic person with a normal appetite. I knew for a fact that I look strange and uncomfortable in my own skin then. But I’ve fooled no one.
All at once, I tried to change my personality. I became submissive, accommodating and sugary sweet whenever my ex boyfriend is within a half-mile. I’ve totally shifted my interests, and my behavior changes radically. My friends told me that they can actually see right through the bogus attempt to reinvent myself, but I didn’t care at all. And guess what?, my ex boyfriend didn’t care too. I’ve fooled no one.
After the break up I started wearing miniskirts and skin-tight tops to get my ex boyfriend’s attention. I’ve made a few heads turn, but not my ex boyfriend. He was not interested at all. Added to that, I’ve put up fake jealousy traps. I lied, plot a story and told everybody farfetched stories.
They’re all intended to revive my relationship, but as far as I can recall, they’ve done nothing but drove a wedge between me and my ex boyfriend. I’ve tried to maneuver things to get him back. But, none of it worked. I knew some people who are lucky and were able to get their man back using those crazy methods, but it was just a temporary fix and another break up followed very quickly.
It’s no way to get a boyfriend back, is it?
The only strategy that really makes sense is one based on decency, honesty, trust and sincerity. It might not be as alluring and it may not have little tricks or built-in short cuts, but it works. In fact, it works much better than going nuts in a foolish attempt to recreate key aspects of your life and personality!
I’ve realized my mistakes. I’ve learned from it, unfortunately, the hard way. Getting your man back without the silliness will allow you to get through the break up and back into the relationship with your dignity and pride intact. Most importantly, perhaps, it works. Not just in the short run, but over the long haul, too. Getting your ex back honestly lays a solid foundation from which the renewed relationship can grow and prosper.
If you love him and you want him back you can get the job done without the silliness. Don’t think about dying your hair, inventing lies or trying to pretend that you’re someone you are not. Getting your ex boyfriend back without the silliness works. It sure is!
Don’t Let Your Insecurities Stop You To Get Him Back
November 12, 2008 | 1 Comment
Dear Candice,
I still love my ex boyfriend, and I definitely want him back. But what if he says “no”? What if I’m embarrassed or humiliated? What if I’m forced to admit to my own mistakes? What if he’s not interested at all? These questions are bugging me. If only I have the courage to do this. Please help. – Sam (Oneonta, NY)
Dear Sam,
You’re right Sam, if only one of you have stepped forward to take action, your relationship could have been saved and nurtured. This is one very unfortunate fact… many potentially great relationships that could have flourished die in break ups over such relatively trivial matters. There are people who chose to not take action when things get a little bit rough even though they know that their relationship is great and worth saving. And there are so many completely unnecessary break ups allowed to crush just like that.
This could be one of those life-changing moments. This could be the time and place for you to stand up for what you know is right and to take a stand in favor of what might be the most important thing in the world—love. You can’t allow your own insecurities to stop you from getting your ex boyfriend back. Many people have failed to re-start their relationships because of their inability to overcome their own insecurities. Don’t be like them, don’t let your insecurities hold you back.
It’s fathomable that you might be reluctant to take action. Taking steps to get someone back in your life inevitably involves exposing your own vulnerabilities.Taking action can also place you at some risk of having your most tender tendencies poked and prodded. However, being proactive is going to force you to “put yourself out there”.
What if he says “no”? What if I’m embarrassed or humiliated? What if I’m forced to admit to my own mistakes?… You kept on asking “what if” questions, these questions won’t help you get through your situation at all, these questions only shows your insecurities. Yes, there are so many different potentially awkward and painful possibilities. Many women can be turned off from the idea of taking action to get a boyfriend back because they have self-confidence and self-esteem issues. They worry if they’re smart enough, pretty enough, interesting enough or otherwise “good enough” to justify happiness and a wonderful romance. Of course, they are, but by just saying that doesn’t make all of those insecurities disappear. No matter how many times your friends and I tell you how pretty you are, won’t keep you thinking of those painful possibilities.
Still, you can’t let those fears stand in your way of making a move to get him back. If you know the two of you deserve a second chance you owe it to yourself, to him and to your heart to do what you can to have a rebound relationship.
You can stop your insecurities from getting in the way by trying to focus on the positive future that awaits you after you get your ex boyfriend back. You can also take action based on a solid plan that all but guarantees a positive result. If only you have a good approach and are doing the things that really work, it can make you feel more secure in the situation and more confident about your actions.
You are good enough and you absolutely do deserve to get a second chance to make things work with your ex boyfriend. Don’t let anything stand in your way. Because in the end, the important thing is to take action regardless of your insecurities.
If You Know That It’s The Right Thing To Do – Get Him Back
November 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I want my ex back but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. I feel that there’s a lot more to this situation. Can I still push on getting him back even in doubt? Please help. Need your thoughts to enlighten me. Thanks Candice. – Carrie (Oakland, CA)
Dear Carrie,
We often times see couples who are stuck in weird relationships that are clearly destructive. Those couples who obviously have a relationship that’s doomed and hopeless, guaranteed to leave them both unhappy after wasting so much time and energy. These are the couples who should split up, as we would all say.
On the other hand, there are other couples who should stay together even though they experience rough times. The couples who know in their hearts that the two of them fit together nicely and realize that something special is always there. Those are the couples who have radically good relationships and you can sense the spark between them. They love one another. Still, something happens and they break up.
So let me ask you this Carrie, which group do you belong? If you’re in the first group, I hope you get out of that mess as soon as you possibly can! If, however, you’re in the second group, getting him back is my advice. You don’t have to acquiesce with this break up. You don’t need to say “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” and move on. If you know that it’s the right thing to do. That’s right. Get him back.
Now Carrie, let me ask you more questions. Can you imagine living without your ex boyfriend? Do you think that the two of you do not belong together? Is your heart telling you that the relationship is better off that way? Do you not feel the love? Look into your heart for a moment. If “No” is your answer to all of the questions, then it’s time to get him back.
Believe it or not, break ups are optional. You can get over it. Many women, including myself, have been in situations like yours. Instead of deciding to just accept an unwanted break up, we decided to take a stand for our love. We decided to get back together with our exes. Thousands and thousands of couples have emerged from break ups to build wonderfully strong and fulfilling relationships.
Let’s entertain the alternative for a moment. What might happen if you decide to surrender in the face of this challenge. You won’t see him again. You won’t spend another evening together, share another story, swap another kiss or enjoy another hug. Obviously, this isn’t what you want. You don’t want to give up on love and you don’t want to turn a deaf ear to your heart’s lament. If you make this decision, it will haunt you.
Don’t ever think to surrender. If you try to get your man back and fail, you can at least take solace in the fact that you tried. If you’ve made efforts to get back together and it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll know you gave it a chance to flourish.
If you are certain that you want to preserve the relationship, get him back. Listen to your heart, instead of just accepting the break up if you really don’t want to. If you know deep down inside that taking a second chance on your relationship is the right thing to do… no one’s stopping you to get your ex boyfriend back.
If You Want To Get Your Ex Back, Does It Matter If He Wants You Back?
November 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Dear Candice,
I think I really pushed my boyfriend away with my jealousy. I broke up with him because I was jealous on his good relations with his friends at work. It’s been 2 months now and I really want to get him back. But what if he doesn’t want to anymore? Does it matter if my ex wants me back too? - Rachel (Bloomington, Indiana)
Dear Rachel,
Yes, it does matter if your ex boyfriend wants you back. But that doesn’t mean that you will put down your own chances just because he has no plans of getting you back. Whether your ex wants you back or not, you can still get him back. The answer hinges on your willingness to put forth an exceptional effort in the face of difficult odds and in your own personal sense of ethics and morality.
The answer is actually a little more complicated than what you might think. Here’s what I mean. You can get your boyfriend back whether he really has thoughts about reuniting or not. This happens very often. A guy who’s completely sure that he wants out of a relationship for good is persuaded to give it another shot. In some sense, it doesn’t matter if he’s excited about getting back together again or not. If you want him back… you certainly can, but you need to use the right plan – that’s what matters.
Before you come up to a right plan, you should consider these factors to effectively get your ex boyfriend back.
Put forth an exception effort. The less interested your ex boyfriend is in rebuilding the relationship, the more difficult it will be to get him back. Thus, on some level, his interest does matter. If your ex boyfriend is dead set against ever laying eyes on you again, you need to put forth an almost Herculean effort to rekindle your relationship. Keep this in mind, getting him back would be more difficult in this case, but absolutely not impossible.
Stop and check your motivations. You should stop to check your own motivations, if your ex boyfriend is bound and determined against getting together again. Efforts to re-initiate a relationship when one partner is dead set against it are, in most cases, motivated more by things like jealousy or to prove a point rather than nurturing true love. Now, if you are going after your ex just to prove something to him, for the sake of revenge or because you feel jealous… take a pause check your motivations.
Smart tactics and persuasive strategies will not work. Consider the ethics of getting your ex boyfriend back if he really doesn’t want to give the relationship a second chance. You might want to think about what he really wants and how your efforts fit into the picture, because using smart tactics and persuasive strategies might complicates the situation and totally ruin your chance to get your ex back.
Being sensitive on how your ex boyfriend feels about rebuilding your relationship is important. It will definitely make your work at re-starting the relationship easier if he’s an active participant! It also matters in terms of your own individual sense of responsibility. But it all boils down to one thing, whether your ex boyfriend is excited at the prospect of rebuilding your relationship again or not,you can get your ex boyfriend back. You certainly can go from breaking up to making up.
A New Boyfriend Or Your Ex Boyfriend Back?
November 4, 2008 | 2 Comments
Dear Candice,
At first I thought it was okay to end the relationship with my boyfriend. In fact, I told him that it is totally over between the two of us. Told him i fell out of love, that I don’t have goose bumps anymore when I’m with him. So, he left. I then, go clubbing and bar hopping, hoping to meet someone else. But I still can’t stop thinking about my ex. I hate the fact that i might have been able to prevent this. But I’m also worried, what if we get back together, will I find the feeling that I am looking for? And at this point, can I sill take him back and how? – Sarah (Ohio, USA)
Dear Sarah,
There’s a big difference between getting a new boyfriend and getting your ex boyfriend back. I understand that you are totally torn between these two options. But your answer should play an enormous role in what you decide to do in the aftermath of a break up.
Getting a first date with a guy is slightly different than getting your ex boyfriend back. There’s tension and familiarity, it’s a whole different ball game. And getting an ex boyfriend back in your life calls for a different approach than what you might need to attract the attention of a new boyfriend.
If you want someone new in your life, going clubbing is somewhat a good way to move on and to look for “that feeling”, as you would say, and meet a special someone. If, on the other hand, you want your ex boyfriend back, you should probably take a more specialized approach.
To answer your question if you can take your boyfriend back… yes you can. There’s no hopeless case when it comes to getting your man back. However, you need to be certain on what you want to do and do something about it. So, if in this case, you really want your ex boyfriend back then I recommend that you should learn about certain techniques that are designed to deal with that specific situation.
These techniques is readily available for you or for anyone who wants to get their man back. There are some very powerful, insightful and informative guides out there that can help you to learn the exact things you need to do to get your ex back at your side. If you learn a few new “tricks” and follow these blueprints for success, you can absolutely get your man back in just a flash.
On the other hand, if you try to get your ex back based on your hunches, uncertain advice and a “fly by night” mindset of yours, it’s going to be very tough to win him back. In fact, it might be next to impossible. There really is a need for a strategy that has been carefully tailored to handle the unique circumstances present in the wake of a break up. Now, Let me ask you. Do you want a new boyfriend or do you specifically want your ex back?
If you and your heart are set to bring your ex boyfriend back, make an effort to know how you should proceed and learn some of the nuances of the situation in order to maximize your chances of rebound relationship. You can certainly get your ex boyfriend back, but it’s much easier if you’re using the right approach!
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