What You See On Television Is Not The Right Approach To Get Your Ex Back

December 17, 2008 | 1 Comment

This post is for Cherry, Amanda, Diane and Tami. The four ladies share the same story. They all have been trying to get their exes back using the ‘television or movie approach’ – an approach that the woman goes through a series of straightforward steps designed to get him back. Now, let me tell you why that approach is definitely not applicable in reality.

Probably, the ‘getting a new hairstyle… putting on more makeup… smiling more’ approach, is the most popular approach that you can see on television or in movies. You may also call it as the ‘sporting a new look’ approach. Does she look a little thinner or like she might be in better shape? That’s all part of the story. She’s been making her gym times regularly in hopes of becoming the woman he really wants.

Yes, most of the time, that’s the way they do it. We can also be rational about it. Like we are just pampering ourselves or so. But deep inside you, you know what really motivates you to do such things – silly. We also throw in a few ridiculous schemes. Maybe a jealousy trap of some sort. You get the idea girls, right?

‘Art imitates reality’ as some would say. That might be the case here, too. Those who wrote the story for the movie or an episode that you’ve recently watched are, after all, real people too. And yes, we see it all the time in real life. Shortly after a break up, the woman appears. She’s eating less, working out more, wearing shorter skirts and sporting new highlights in her hair. She’s putting herself together for maximum attractiveness, hoping that her efforts will persuade her ex boyfriend to take a second chance on their relationship.

However, there is one distinction between the television/movie approach and real life. On the tube, those superficial little plans actually pay off. The woman gets her boyfriend back and they live happily ever after. In reality , it rarely looks that way. That superficial little plans actually pay off too in the real world, but the ending is not exactly living happily ever after. More often that not, another break up follows immediately after a week or two. Worst case scenario is when the guy recognizes the desperation and sees right through the efforts. He was your boyfriend, definitely he knows that you’re trying to get him back and he isn’t playing along.

Guys are often repulsed by the very scent of desperation! If you are trying to get hi back with cheap tricks, you might want to reconsider. You can only keep up an act so long, and making wholesale changes in hopes of winning back your boyfriend won’t last long enough to be effective.

If you want to successfully get your boyfriend back… for good, it’s time to give up on those silly solutions that make better movies than real-life plans. You need to go after him honestly, seriously, authentically and definitely with dignity. If you do that, you stand a very good chance of getting him back in your life. Stop relying on cheap tricks. Cheap tricks will bring nothing but getting you odds be stacked tall against you. In the real world, you need to have a complete, genuine person. That’s what really increases your chances of getting back together with your ex.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

Does Your Ex Boyfriend Want You Back? How Can You Tell?

December 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Dear Candice,

I’m not pleased with my recent break up with my ex and I’m totally convinced right not that the two of us should give it another chance. But I don’t want to do it without knowing his take on this. How can I tell if he wants me back? Andrea

Dear Andrea,

There are actually three different answers to your question. Believe it or not, all of them are true at the same time.

You can’t be sure of what your ex boyfriend’s intentions are. There are some ways that we can read people pretty well and if he’s doing some really obvious things to show his interests, you might be able to figure it out. However, in most cases, there’s no definite way to know whether he would buy the idea of taking a second chance on your relationship or not. Here’s the bottom-line… Does your ex want you back? You can’t tell. Unless, of course, he’s come right out and said that he wants you. And if he did, why are you still reading this post?

Here’s definitely a head-spinner one! On some level it just doesn’t matter whether he wants you back right now or not. The only thing that matters the most here is your desire to get your ex back and to rebuild your relationship. The truth is… his current attitude won’t really affect you odds to get him back. If your heart is telling you to make things work and if you’re completely committed to getting back together, it’s your obligation to take action. Start planning for a smart action to get him on the side of a second chance. So, does your ex want me back? It really doesn’t matter.

Your ex boyfriend may or may not be interested right now, but then again, it really doesn’t matter. That’s due, in an enormous measure, to the fact that you can take actions specifically designed to help you get your ex back. If you’re using a smart strategy, you can do what it takes to make him want you back in his life. Does your ex want you back? He will.

Cease from waiting and waiting to try to start your relationship again because you’ve been wondering about how he feels. This is a great time to stop worrying about his current attitude. Instead, focus on the fact that he eventually will want you back.

There’s no better time than now to start the ball rolling toward getting him back. So, stop the worrying and commit yourself to taking action as soon as possible. You can get your ex boyfriend back if you want him. How he happens to be seeing things right at this moment is really all that important in the final analysis. Every second counts. Get up, make up your mind and get your ex back.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Advice, Breakup, Relationship