Issues of Jealousy and Trust — “Half of me loves You, and Half of me wants to get out…”

June 8, 2009 | Leave a Comment

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months. Recently, I was really upset, but also not quite ready to end things. I’m jealous over his girl friend and I ended up saying the exact line, “Half of me loves you, and half of me wants to get out. I’m just confused, but I don’t want to get hurt anymore.” Then I hang up on him and haven’t heard from him for almost a week now. Think I got him confused too that he needs some time off, so I decided not to get in touch with him for a while. I feel bad too that I’m having mixed feelings about him. Is it over for us? If you were in the situation, what would you do? — Rochel

Dear Rochel,

It’s inevitable in any relationship, the issue of jealousy and trust, that is. Perhaps you feel that it has come too soon, for you’ve only been dating for two months. But strong feelings bring all your emotional nerve endings to the surface, which makes suspicions that much more intense.

In all relationship, jealousy happens. It’s human nature to get jealous in order to protect what belongs to us. In fact, every person in a relationship have had experienced jealousy, at one point or another. It’s the number one reason why couples argue or break up. But if you want to, you can overcome jealousy and can keep your relationship even more healthy.

Is it over for you? From the way I see it, I think the relationship can be saved. However it will require you to do two things first. Look back and commit.

Look back into your expectations about trust and having a relationship. People have different expectations about trust. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always just turn out that “you only fall in love with people who share your views on trust.” You and your boyfriend might have different expectations about trust. It doesn’t make either one of you right or wrong. It simply makes you different from one another. If you think you can’t handle each others expectations, better call it quits. Same advice if you both expect nothing from each other at all, your relationship will just be miserable in the end.

Commit to yourself that you will be fair and will ignore little stuff. These are the things you must do to overcome your issues of jealousy and trust. You must be fair. Try to put yourself in his shoes. I’m pretty sure you’ll be irritated if he gets jealous and get mad at you for spending time with a guy friend. You must ignore and don’t have to get jealous over every little thing. Have the confidence about yourself and your relationship.

Love alone is a work, more so if you want to share it with another person. You both have to make efforts to have a great relationship that you want. One effort to make is to resolve the issues of jealousy and trust, if you don’t you can just go on and off, but that would be so tiresome. Still, here’s a piece of advice, let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough and move on… when things aren’t like before.

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Posted by Candice | Filed Under Problems in Relationship, Relationship