Understanding Men Is Necessary To Get Your Boyfriend Back

December 4, 2008 | By Candice | In Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

Dear Candice,

Me and my boyfriend broke up and now I want to revive the relationship. The problem is, just like other people here, I just don’t know what to do. And what’s more complicating is that I don’t think we speak the same language. We have so many differences, what if the idea of reviving our relationship is one of them? – Mitch (Scottsdale, Arizona) 

Dear Mitch,

You and your boyfriend do not speak the same language? Here’s my take — Literally? Definitely, not correct. You and your boyfriend can communicate with each other right? — Figuratively? Still, not correct! Believing on it, can be really frustrating. How can you possibly connect with him if it seems that you are living in two different world?

When I was in pursuit of my ex, I’ve sought advice from famous relationship gurus. According to one guru, men are from the planet Mars. And another one claims the one you’ve mentioned here, that men and women just don’t speak the same languages. There’s a school of thought that argues that the male and female minds are hardwired differently — that we’re basically different species.

So, how are you supposed to get your ex boyfriend back when you can’t even begin to understand him? Seems like a long shot to me. How are you supposed to forge a partnership with some crazy creature from another world? Yikes! It just isn’t a very promising situation in which to be.

Bridging a gap like that is not an easy way, right? Wrong! The answer is actually quite easy. Talk to him like a person. Simply because he is a person too. All that talk of different species and aliens from outer space is complete and utter nonsense. I’ve proven that men, despite being weird occasionally, are definitely human beings.

You see, they aren’t that different compared to us. We often mistakingly assume that we are not alike — And that’s where the problem sets in. Men want the same things we do. In fact, if you were to go down a list of important things with your ex boyfriend you’d probably find that most of both lists were identical.

That, however, doesn’t mean that there aren’t slight differences. There are. These are more a matter of prioritizing goals and longings and far less about being radically different from one another.

Your ex boyfriend is probably from your hometown, your state, your country, and he is definitely from your world — the same world women hail from, by the way. They can definitely communicate with you if you make the effort to communicate with them. So, men aren’t from Mars.

I was once failed to get back together with my ex, because I declined to believe that we are just the same. Thought of so many unrealistic male stereotypes. This patronizing approach certainly isn’t attractive and it generally fails to produce a real connection.

So, if you want to get your ex boyfriend back, you will need to understand those slight differences that separate you from him. More importantly, though, you’ll need to remain cognizant of the fact that your ex boyfriend is a full-fledged human being, just like you. You’ll be much, much closer to getting your boyfriend back once you accept that fact.

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One Response to “Understanding Men Is Necessary To Get Your Boyfriend Back”

  1. ConnectingUs on December 14th, 2008 3:19 pm

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