When Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

January 13, 2009 | By Candice | In Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

Dear Candice,

Broke up with my ex five months ago. I haven’t heard from him since then. But now I feel like I’m missing a part of me, which my ex could only fill. I want to get back together with him but I think it’s too late to link up now. Is there a time after which you just shouldn’t try to get back together with an ex boyfriend? If so, how long is too long? – Maja (Phoenix, AZ)

Dear Maja,

The primary answer to those questions are “no” and “never”. There’s a caveat to that kind of open-ended thinking though, and yes… in every rule there are exceptions. Generally, however, you can get back together with an ex boyfriend even if a great deal of time has passed.

What’s the caveat? Yes, it’s possible to get your ex back even after a lengthy period of separation or break up. However, it will be harder to accomplish the task if a great deal of time has passed. Meaning, you can still get him back if you waited, but it will be a lot harder than if you had taken immediate action.

What are the exceptions? If the case is that you have waited too long, you might have to surrender your dream of rebuilding the relationship.

Here’s a sample scenario. You’ve waited so long that your ex has already started dating someone else. If you wait until this time or until he’s actually had time to meet and fall in love a rebound girl, it’s not a very good idea to try to get him back. As much as you want to be fair with your feelings, it isn’t just fair to him. It’s not fair to the other woman in his life neither. Oh, and of course, it rarely works. At the same time, there is a substantial risk of making his life more difficult. That is definitely not a way to treat someone you supposedly love. You have waited too long if injecting yourself back into his life would somehow harm him or anyone else.

You want to get your boyfriend back and you probably don’t have any interest in being “the other woman”, anyway. If you ex is in the company of another, the idea of putting forth a truly Herculean effort to get him back probably isn’t that exciting. This is exactly why I advocate prompt action.

What is then the basic rule of thumb? That it’s never too late to get your boyfriend back if you’re willing to put forth enough effort and if he hasn’t already met (or, heaven forbid) married someone else.

Along those line, the best strategy you can take is to commit yourself to take action as quickly as you possibly can. As time passes, it becomes harder and harder to get your man back. You can still do it in most cases, but that’s no excuse for letting any more sand work its way down the hourglass.

What you need to do now is to get a good plan and get busy putting forth an effort to get your ex back. It’s almost never too late, but it’s a lot easier when it’s early.

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7 Responses to “When Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?”

  1. Pearl on December 9th, 2010 1:54 pm

    Ok so what if I didn’t waste time and he started dating someone rather quickly after our split (like 2 months later) and they’re still dating. They’re not together and he hasn’t made her his girlfriend and it’s been almost 10 months now. I have tried ( in wrong ways ) to get him back. I have a distinct feeling that he still has a lot of care for me since we were together for 3 years, but he has pushed it away and now he is distracted with his female companion and his constant talk about how he’s doesn’t want a commitment right now. We have hung out on several occasions since our split, talked almost at least twice a month since we broke up and a lot has been said to give me hope that there’s always a chance..

    any advice would be great.

    thank you very much.

  2. vicki on June 27th, 2011 8:11 pm

    Me and mey ex boyfriend were together for 3 years. He came to me one day and said, he didn’t know he still loved me he waited to split up but still date. he told me i changed. Now it has been 4 mother and i did all the thing i should not do like text call him (exd) and now he bloke my calls. i stoped all of that for a monthe and then ran in to him at the lake the first time we talked it was good and ran in to him again a the lake a few more at the, but would ask he if he would like to go to lunch, he said maybe, but one day at the lake i had one tow many beers and he see me and turned around and left. stiuped me i followed him. It has been 3 day’s. Now he says im stocking him i just wanted to talk. He says i calling from different number and texting him but im not. his says he don’t love he don’t want to me will me. I still love him i just want him, but in his eye’s i look like a stocker. Do i still have a chance and if so how please help. Thank you so much

  3. Taylor on June 29th, 2011 7:48 am

    I dated my boyfriend for 3 years and at first I broke up with him anne we have been broken up for 4 months now . In the first month we were broken up he tried to get back with me and I wasn’t ready, so I pushed him away.then we would kind of talk in the months and then I started to miss him alot and I started to get back together with him and he said just not right now and I want to be friends maybe someday well be back together, stuff like that. I started to begging to get back togeher. That dosent work . So I told him a week ago that I hope one day in the future oh can give us a chance. But right now I need to move on . I haven’t talk to him in a week . Do you think if we don’t talk for a while he will miss what we had ? Because we haven’t had a Minh were we didn’t talk to eachother , or is it too late and he’s moved on and so should I ?

  4. Mary on August 25th, 2011 11:17 am

    The answer is simpler than the above. No,ONLY because you said you are feeling as if something is missing in you. Find that FIRST, figure that out FIRST, even if you have to RELEARN something to get to that, to fill what’s missing.

    Then, seek him out again. See if he is different, better. Don’t renew a relationship just because you miss something, you miss something because it’s gone but because it’s different. You would jut be reliving the same mistakes, that broke you two apart.

    Good Luck!

  5. GetExBack on October 4th, 2011 8:11 am

    Hi Vicki,

    I apologize for the long-wait, here’s my reply to you. http://getexbackmagic.com/ex-boyfriend-avoiding-me/

    Your friend,

    Curtis

  6. GetExBack on October 4th, 2011 8:13 am

    Hi Taylor,

    I’ve summed up my reply to you in this post http://getexbackmagic.com/keeping-distance-from-ex-in-order-to-move-on/.

    Your friend,

    Curtis

  7. donna on October 21st, 2011 9:33 am

    Where is my download link for the ebook breakups are optional ive paod for????

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