When Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

January 13, 2009 | By Candice | In Advice, Breakup, Relationship 

Dear Candice,

Broke up with my ex five months ago. I haven’t heard from him since then. But now I feel like I’m missing a part of me, which my ex could only fill. I want to get back together with him but I think it’s too late to link up now. Is there a time after which you just shouldn’t try to get back together with an ex boyfriend? If so, how long is too long? – Maja (Phoenix, AZ)

Dear Maja,

The primary answer to those questions are “no” and “never”. There’s a caveat to that kind of open-ended thinking though, and yes… in every rule there are exceptions. Generally, however, you can get back together with an ex boyfriend even if a great deal of time has passed.

What’s the caveat? Yes, it’s possible to get your ex back even after a lengthy period of separation or break up. However, it will be harder to accomplish the task if a great deal of time has passed. Meaning, you can still get him back if you waited, but it will be a lot harder than if you had taken immediate action.

What are the exceptions? If the case is that you have waited too long, you might have to surrender your dream of rebuilding the relationship.

Here’s a sample scenario. You’ve waited so long that your ex has already started dating someone else. If you wait until this time or until he’s actually had time to meet and fall in love a rebound girl, it’s not a very good idea to try to get him back. As much as you want to be fair with your feelings, it isn’t just fair to him. It’s not fair to the other woman in his life neither. Oh, and of course, it rarely works. At the same time, there is a substantial risk of making his life more difficult. That is definitely not a way to treat someone you supposedly love. You have waited too long if injecting yourself back into his life would somehow harm him or anyone else.

You want to get your boyfriend back and you probably don’t have any interest in being “the other woman”, anyway. If you ex is in the company of another, the idea of putting forth a truly Herculean effort to get him back probably isn’t that exciting. This is exactly why I advocate prompt action.

What is then the basic rule of thumb? That it’s never too late to get your boyfriend back if you’re willing to put forth enough effort and if he hasn’t already met (or, heaven forbid) married someone else.

Along those line, the best strategy you can take is to commit yourself to take action as quickly as you possibly can. As time passes, it becomes harder and harder to get your man back. You can still do it in most cases, but that’s no excuse for letting any more sand work its way down the hourglass.

What you need to do now is to get a good plan and get busy putting forth an effort to get your ex back. It’s almost never too late, but it’s a lot easier when it’s early.

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