When You Want Your Boyfriend Back, Who Should You Be Listening To?

Dear Candice,

I want my boyfriend back. But don’t know what to do right now. My bestfriend told me not to, while my sister thought that if I really think my relationship deserve a second chance, i can take him back. I really don’t know what to do. Shall I just listen to my heart and don’t let other opinions spoil it? Please help, I’m almost over the edge. – Vivian (San Diego, CA)

Dear Vivian,

Everyone seems to have an opinion for you in the aftermath of your break up, that’s understandable. Most people you know would like to give you friendly advice, and it is beginning to stack up and the more of it you hear, the more confused you become. At a time like this, who should you be listening to?

I’ve been in the situation too. One friend told me that I’m better off without my ex and that I should try going out on a double date with her and her boyfriend’s colleague. Another friend says that she’s been through this before and that I’ll start to feel better in time. My mom told me to get over it in a hurry and not to let one bad experience with one guy waste so much of my time. My little brother, yes even my younger brother, he wants me to get together with my ex because my ex was his basketball buddy. I have another acquaintance who told me to do whatever it takes to get him back immediately, just to prove that I can. There are a lot of opinions out there. And yes, the more we expose ourselves to them… the harder it gets to decide.

That’s right, it’s time to start tuning out all of the outside wisdom and to look into your heart for direction. A thorough and completely honest self-assessment of the situation is more likely to yield an appropriate series of answers than anything you will hear from those around you. This is the time to use a tried and true cliché… the time to listen to your heart.

There’s no other person in the world, but you, who understands the nature and depth of your feelings for ex boyfriend. No one, but you, knows how the relationship made you feel. There is no one better-situated to interpret the context of your relationship and the events that may have led up to your break up. These are the obvious reasons why you should trust your own judgment as you think about whether or not to get your ex boyfriend back. After all, there’s only one person who can make the decision. That person is you.

Some outside advice will make you feel better… temporarily. Others can be helpful and will give you perspective or new ways to look at the situation. It can’t, however, answer the big questions for you. So, as nice as it would be to have someone come forward with all the answers, the only person who can really help you is you.

If the end result is a decision to leave the relationship behind, so be it. If, on the other way around, your heart is screaming out loud for you to take action, it is time for you to listen. It’s time to take action and get your ex boyfriend back. It’s also an absolute time for some soul-searching. You need to thoroughly think about the situation and pay close attention to what your heart is telling you.

You might be able to find a gist of wisdom in everyone’s perspective. However, in the end there is only one person whose counsel you should heed. The person who best understands your feelings, the nature of your relationship, and what is really best for you. No one else… but you.