Which of These 5 Challenging Behaviors Does Your Guy Exhibit?

Conflict is something most people want to avoid, however others just can’t seem to let things go. In fact, some individuals are not happy until they’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. We can see challenging behavior patterns at work, at the grocery store, or at a friend’s house, and they can be a problem. What we all want is to go about our business in a peaceful, non-threatening way. But, how come there are people who thrive on challenging others, for reasons unknown? Let’s take a look at the five most common cases women are often complaining and what you can do to deflect such behaviors, with a positive outcome.

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend is very arrogant and over confident. I do find confidence attractive though, but he’s too much. I’ve told him that his bragging puts me off a bit, but he still keeps bragging. How can i get this thing over? — Annabelle

Arrogance is the behavior of choice for insecure people. Such people must demonstrate their superiority in order to maintain a sense of adequacy. Next time your boyfriend brags about anything, you might want to brag to brag back. Though, this challenging behavior requires both firmness and finesse. Just keep on correcting him and be firm on what you stand for. It’s also best to try to spot a time when he is being nice, immediately give him props for that.

Dear Candice,

I recently got back together with my boyfriend, and noticed something is different. He became selfish, setting new rules to our relationship, which I think all in favor of him. He can go out with his friends alone (without me), but I cannot. How can I fix this? — Allyson

Selfishness is the earmark of the narcissistic personality. Selfish people are only interested in their own satisfaction. If your guy is being selfish, you must reprimand him during that very instance, not after a day or two. You must make him aware the he possesses this challenging behavior, and this act of trying to control you will not do any good to your relationship.

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend is getting more aggressive and violent, what can I do? – Gabrielli

Aggressive and hostile behavior is rampant in the world today. This is one of the most challenging behavior patterns. Unfounded accusations, hostile acts and aggressive violent acts can be most dangerous. If your boyfriend is more aggressive or badder than ever, you must set some time off, but make your exit as gracefully as possible. Here, discretion is indeed the better part of valor.

Dear Candice,

My boyfriend has been kind of grouchy and being manipulative, he’s just been shutting me down lately. I tried to draw him out to find out what exactly it is he’s pissed at me about, but he got really angry and started twisting my words around. It seems that I can’t say anything tight, there are a lot of accusations. He’ll take it even simple things out of context and blow it up into something huge. What can I do? – Tameka

Manipulative personalities present a special kind of challenge. These people lead you down the primrose path. What starts off as a seemingly innocent discussion turns into an ‘I told you so’ conversation. This challenging behavior pattern is a no-win. If you once recognize the manipulative personality, your best bet is to get out of the way and move on. Don’t let your boyfriend play this behavior on you, at your expense.

My boyfriend did something that was somewhat inconsiderate. He’s really being a control freak lately. What can I do? — Selena

Being a control freak is a sure sign of an insecure individual who, in order to gain a modicum of personal security, must exercise control over others. Such a person usually uses personal relationships, under cover of friendship or romantic involvement. I want to be straightforward, there is not a remedy for this type of relationship. The solution? Get out.

In the course of our everyday interactions with people, we are sure to meet people with such challenging behavior patterns. Often, we are caught unaware, even if we’ve been with the person for a period of time. Unless you’re quick on your feet, you may find an adequate response beyond your capabilities. Life is too short to waste time trying to rectify all of the world’s ills. Stay positive and just dust your feet off as necessary.